die konnnichiwa

See that face? It’s pretty much exactly the same as the one I pulled when I heard that there is to be yet another Die Hard movie. My expression when I heard that the production may be released under the title Die Hardest was like this, too, but as if a gang of irritated bees was also stinging my face and eyes.

That’s right, cinephiles, Bruce Willis is set to return in yet another action adventure extravaganza sometime in the near future, somehow evading bad guys with curious accents, speeding bullets and his own slowly encroaching retirement once again.

This time around, the mayhem is coming to none other than Japan’s capital city Tokyo. Our enigmatic reporter Mr. Sato has already locked himself away in a dimly lit room to study the past films at length and practice screaming in the hope of landing himself a walk-on part.

Despite reviews for Die Hard 5 (or to use its official title, A Good Day to Die Hard) being mediocre at best, the film managed to rake in over 300 million US dollars worldwide, proving that either Bruce has still got it or that the softer, PG13-certified Die Hard 4 managed to prep a whole new generation of kids in time to see its R-rated sequel (to the sequel to the sequel to the sequel to the best one).

Die Hard 5‘s plot is rumored to kick off in New York City before quickly skipping across the Pacific Ocean to equally enormous but infinitely more mystifying Tokyo, following in the footsteps of this year’s The Wolverine, which sees Hugh Jackman’s angry mutant slasher in the land of the rising run, being angry and slashing things.

Japanese movie fans were quick to notice that the newest addition to the franchise would take place in their homeland, some excited, some speculating on the title.

– Wow! I’d definitely like to go and check out the locations they use to shoot this one!

– I’m begging you, please don’t do an action scene in Akihabara…

– You think he’ll get mixed up with yakuza or something in this one?

– Looking forward to this! That said, Die Hard 5 was pretty awful…

– Hmm… that title kind of suggests this’ll be the absolute last in the series.

I think they should just go with Die Hardererererer (one “er” for each sequel) for the newest John McClane outing, personally, but I’ll leave that in the capable hands of screenwriter and fellow Brit Ben Trebilcook. Fingers crossed he can pull the Die Hard series out of the shrug-of-indifference tailspin that it has fallen into in the last few years.

Source: Cinema Today (Japanese)

Title image via Lost in the Multiplex edited by RocketNews24