Recently another video was added to the disturbingly growing number of viral images depicting people evacuating their bowels in public places in China. Previously we’ve seen subway and airplane crapping, but this lady takes the cake. Apparently trapped in a train station on the Shenzen Metro Line 3 with no other place to go, she chooses a glass elevator equipped with a security camera as her makeshift toilet.

Moving past the obvious indignation and “oh my god someone’s pooping in an elevator” style commentary, there are a few impressive things about this incident.

First, it’s kind of romantic how the man backs up the woman in this scene. Ladies, if the man in your life would help you crap in an elevator, that’s love. They show a good deal of teamwork too with the guy working the buttons to hold the elevator and helping screen the lady from people passing by.

Secondly, the entire video lasts for 42 seconds, including the time to pull down/up the pants and give a quickie wipe. That’s an incredibly fast poop. Although we can safely assume from the whole ordeal that some digestion issues were at play, that’s still some quick work. I’m sure I would have had some performance anxiety had I been in her shoes.

Finally, that had to have been the absolute worst choice of a place to take a dump in the vicinity. Even if she’d taken it in the middle of the floor it would have been better.  The guy still could have offered some shielding, it would probably have been less visible to cameras, and at least the other people could have easily seen it and walked around rather than having a stanky ambush left coiled to strike some poor commuter.

So rather than condemn this lady for her actions, let’s learn to better poop in public. For example, why not choose a remote corner with solid, opaque concrete walls around you? Better yet, how about asking someone who works at the station? Even if no public restrooms are around, they’ll probably let you use the employee toilet in a photo-finish situation.

Source: Shenzen Evening News (Chinese), MIC Gadget (English) via Byokan Sunday (Japanese)
Video: YouTube – Nano Lancet