In what is undeniable proof that humanity is doomed, Nintendo recently announced that up to 1,500 people, some of them adults competing against children, entered the 2013 Global Showdown Pokemon tournament using illegally acquired Pokemon.

Apparently not content to wander the virtual landscape beating harmless critters into submission then trapping them in tiny, sphere-shaped cells, these deviants used a third-party program to magic high level Pokemon into their inventory without all the legwork and random luck usually required.

▼ A possible artist’s rendition of one of the illegal entrants.


Unfortunately, Nintendo wasn’t specific about how the culprits were caught, but we like to think they gave themselves away by showing up with impossible shotgun-wielding, invincible Pokemon or maybe the legendary MissingNo..

▼ Seems legit.


All 1,500 of the cheating players – spread across all three categories of Junior, Senior and Master players – will be banned from participating in future tournaments, according to Nintendo, as well as having whatever rewards and ranks they acquired in the 2013 tournament revoked.

Let this be a lesson: While meticulously attacking and enslaving an entire planet’s worth of exotic fauna like some kind of sadistic Noah may be A-okay in Nintendo’s book, cheaters will still never prosper.

Source: Himajin Sokuhou