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As sure as the sun rises in the east, you can count on Japanese burger chain Lotteria to do something wacky every couple of months. Seemingly resigned to the fact that it can never quite capture either the flavor or value crown in the fast food market, Lotteria has apparently settled on cornering the market on crazy, whether that means nine-patty Evangelion burgers or milkshakes inspired by horror movie The Ring.

Lotteria’s latest outburst is a burger literally topped with everything.

Lotteria’s menu allows customers to add a variety of extra fixings to their burger, in order to get precisely the taste they’re looking for. When the chain started hanging posters in its restaurants showing something called the zennose burger (literally the burger with everything on it), even some employees weren’t entirely sure Lotteria was serious. “This isn’t really an official menu item. It’s just something we could make if customers asked us to,” one worker commented.

To at least one burger fan, though, the opportunity to eat such a towering spectacle of decadence is no joke, and a series of photos portraying the zennose burger ordered by one hungry/maniacal diner has shown up on the Internet.

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Let’s run down everything that goes into Lotteria’s all-inclusive sandwich:

Regular beef patty
Additional patty with cheese
Shrimp cutlet
Rib patty (apparently Lotteria’s take on McDonald’s rib-shaped McRib)
Bacon (because this thing doesn’t have enough meat already)
Sliced cheese
Spicy mayonnaise
Regular mayonnaise
Tartar sauce
Ketchup (the only thing on the zennose burger that doesn’t add to the price)
Teriyaki sauce
One egg, soft-boiled (the better to mix with all those sauces)
Cabbage (because vegetables are the cornerstone of a sensible diet)
Lettuce
Pickles (the zennose burger is practically a salad, now)

While a measly four patties may seem underwhelming from the fast food chain that once offered 30 in the same sandwich, the zennose burger does score extra points for variety, with each of the four being a different type.

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But the real jaw-dropping number in the tale of the tape is the whopping five kinds of sauce. Factor in the two cheese sources and soft-boiled egg, and the end result is a sandwich that you really can’t talk about without using the word “gooey.”

▼ Seriously, this should be the illustrated definition of the term.

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Oddly enough, it seems the customer who ordered the zennose burger complained that as he neared the end of his meal, all that was left were the patties and buns, with not enough sauce left over to give them the flavor he desired.

We have a hard time believing the sandwich pictured above could ever end up dry or bland, but the problem might have been averted with a more evenly balanced sauce/patty formation. According to Lotteria workers, customers can request the order in which they’d like the ingredients stacked.

The zennose burger is available at any Lotteria location, and will set you back 1,130 yen (US $11.30), plus an indeterminate amount of time to recover from the food coma that is almost certain to follow.

Source, images: Livedoor