Rainy days means umbrellas, which means boys and girls smacking each other unrepentantly while waiting for the train with their makeshift swords/lances/lightsabers/sonic screwdrivers.

This “extracurricular activity” is certainly enjoyed by all of the world’s excitable youth, so we bet you can tell exactly what kind of weapon your umbrella turns into when swords are drawn! Our umbrellas become katanas with an acidic edge that can slice through anything!

But what about Japan’s netizens?

A Japanese forum user recently posed a question to other users to find out exactly how everyone is umbrella-fighting their friends/enemies, real or imagined. “You guys, when using your umbrella like a weapon, is it as a sword or a lance?”

And thus began what we’re sure future generations will dub “the most important thing on the Internet ever.”


Obviously, I’m a lance user.

I’m a lancer. And my randoseru (a hard backpack that Japanese school children often use, pictured below) is my shield!


I used it as a lance when mounted and riding my bicycle.

^I know exactly what you’re talking about.


If you’re on a bike, then it should be a shotgun, right?

^Yeah! A shotgun like Shuwa-chan (Japanese nickname for Arnold Schwarzenegger) in Terminator 2!

Definitely a shotgun.


Sniper rifle!


I use mine as a rapier.

I used my umbrella as a shield against all the folks who keep attacking me with theirs like rapiers!


I use my umbrella like a katana.

For me, it’s a katana–like iaido (the art of sword drawing).

Two-handed sword.

Obviously, a gunblade!

^That’s the only choice!

For me, it’s a shield!


For me, it’s a sickle.

No one’s mentioned “Advanced Rush” (a special move from Dragon Quest) yet??

What? No one uses “Advanced Rush!”


I use mine like a tonfa.

When holding it like a tonfa, you can spin it and create a wall unifying offense and defense.

I turn mine inside out and use it to save up water…

I have many memories of slinging it over my shoulder, like someone traveling in a folk story, and hanging my bag off of it.


I’m in the Berga Giros shotlancer group.

I use it like I’m Captain Hook!

Hmm…well, that solved absolutely nothing. The debate rages on! Be sure to share your allegiance in the comments below. Just try not to get into any real fights, okay?

Finally, did you know that the Philippine Secret Service also use their umbrellas like weapons? The only difference: Their $180 umbrellas are legitimately scary and can be used to stand on, to beat punching bags, or even cut watermelons in half. Don’t believe us? Check it out in the video below.

We know what we want for our birthday!

Source: Golden Times
Images: Wikipedia (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7), Amazon, T’s Hobby Blog, KamuSoku