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Welcome to another edition of Quiz of the Week: where the best news stories from the last seven days come to die. By now you should know the drill: we throw 10 multiple-choice questions at you to see whether you’re keeping your wits about you and to introduce you to some of the best stories in town, whispering unsavoury things about your mother for every question you get wrong.

So stop drooling all over yourself and let’s test those grey cells of yours!

As ever, highlight the space between the square brackets [ mmmn, bacon] after the word “Answer:” or click the “Read more” link to check your answers.

Ready? Then let’s get started!

  • Question 1.

What unusual act has recently become something of an online craze in South Korea?

A: Taking “reverse selfies”, where people take photos of things besides their own stupid faces
B: Sending confession emails to numerous companies’ “support” email addresses
C: Sharing pictures of themselves in new underwear as a method of “reviewing” it
D: Spamming non-Korean companies’ websites with photos of seemingly amused goats

Answer: [ C ] Read more

  • Question 2. 

This special “true love tester” bra is designed to open only for just the right person. But how does it know who that is?

bra

A: It responds to the heat of the would-be opener’s hands
B: It is wired to respond to the wearer’s heart-rate
C: It contains microphones and unlocks when a pre-set password is uttered
D: It assumes anyone will do and pops open as soon as someone looks at it

Answer: [  B  ] Read more

  • Question 3.

Which of the following reasons was not given by a select group of Japanense women on why they only date foreign men?

A: They’re more gentlemanly than Japanese guys
B: They’re fun to show off
C: They’re a good way to learn a foreign language
D: They smell nicer than Japanese men

Answer: [  D  ] Read more

  • Question 4.

At a special news conference on Thursday this week, video games giant Nintendo made several announcements. Which of the following wasn’t one of them?

A: Super Mario Kart 8 will be with us in May this year
B: The CEO of the company will be voluntarily taking a 50 percent pay-cut
C: Wii U will be getting a “fat-o-meter” fitnesss add-on
D: Wii U owners will soon be able to play old Nintendo DS games on the console

Answer: [  C  ] Read more

  • Question 5.

Why isn’t this woman smiling despite receiving a cheque worth over US$132,000?

li-na-check

A: Because she’s just bloody ungrateful
B: That amount of money probably doesn’t mean much to her any more
C: She is incapable of smiling following a recent accident (hence the money)
D: She doesn’t believe in money. Or sandwiches

Answer: [  B   ] Read more

  • Question 6. 

Which of the following did a recent survey show that Japanese girls most want to be when they grow up?

A: Married with kids–the job’s irrelevant
B: Pastry chef
C: Doctor
D: Manga artist

Answer: [ B ] Read more

  • Question 7. 

What did legendary animator and Studio Ghibli icon Hayao Miyazaki this week say is “the problem” with the animation industry?

miyazaki

A: “It’s full of otaku.”
B: “It’s way too left-wing. Bring back corporal punishment, I say!”
C: “It doesn’t feature nearly enough goats.”
D: “It doesn’t have enough female artists.”

Answer: [  A  ] Read more

  • Question 8. 

A veterinary surgeon in Japan recently shared a story about something that changed her life forever. What was it?

A: A talking cat
B: A duck that learned to love again
C: A kind-hearted penguin that suffered with terrible irritable bowel syndrome
D: A tortoise that could skateboard

Answer: [  A   ] Read more

  • Question 9. 

What is it about this pop idol group that sets them apart from their competition?

idol

A: They can actually sing
B: They’re entirely computer generated
C: None of them have ever seen a goose
D: They’re all considered “chubby”

Answer: [  D   ] Read more

  • Question 10.

What will I be doing this weekend?

A: Shouting at toast
B: Going to the supermarket and squeezing all the oranges, but not actually buying any
C: Feeding ham sandwiches to overweight owls
D: Something far less glamorous

Answer: [ D. Ah, you know me so well!.]

How’d you do?

0 correct: Face the corner. I said face the f@#king corner!
1-3 correct: Your parents sent us all letters asking us never to tell you that you were a bit different. Did you know that?
4-6 correct: Hand me my smelling salts, Boris, this one’s still alive!
7-9 correct: I see you’ve been putting plenty of awesomesauce on your fries. Well done.
10 correct: You’re Braveheart. But with nicer hair and a winning smile. Also, your bowel movements smell like cinnamon. Congrats.

Have a great weekend, everyone!