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Some of my cousins have a tradition where on their kids’ first birthday, they have two cakes. There’s a normal-sized one the whole family shares, but also a mini cake that they put in front of the tyke in his highchair for him to eat with his hands.

Cake being one of the few universally loved foods, the kid enjoys it, and the adults get a cute photo, plus a chuckle and a smile from the infant’s inherent innocence. But I always wondered, wouldn’t it be more fun to do that when you’re at an age where you can remember it?

Of course, most people old enough to not need diapers anymore would feel too self-conscious to celebrate their birthday with this kind of bare-handed confectionary decadence. So recently some Japanese high school girls, are taking it upon themselves to forcefully cram some sweets into their friends’ faces.

Whether inspired by the power of friendship, a love of slapstick, a warped craving for sweets, or just good old fashioned youthful jackassery, some teens apparently have come to the conclusion that after you present your BFF with her birthday cake, the natural next course of action is to use the power of leverage to press her face into it.

▼ Did they at least give her a chance to blow out the burning candles first?

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This warped way of marking another year of surviving on Planet Earth seems to have completely opened up the confectionary field, as you don’t even have to use cake to say “Happy Birthday!” We’re well into the new millennium, so kids are getting creative with things like a 360-degree cream puff ambush.

▼ It’s a little surprising the birthday girl’s friend standing behind her right shoulder didn’t bother taking her leopard-print scarf off for the attack. We’re guessing she knows a really good dry cleaner.

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I never claimed to understand girls in high school, and throwing in a generation and cultural gap isn’t making things any easier for me. Thankfully, I’m not alone in my puzzlement, as Japanese Internet comments show.

“They’re completely nuts.”
“Very grotesque.”
“That’s gotta smell nasty when it dries out.”
“And just what is the point of doing this?”
“What a waste of good cream puffs.”

One classic comedy fan even took issue with the type of ammunition and delivery method of the payload, asking, “Aren’t they supposed to be throwing pies instead?” We sort of agree, as in some pictures it’s hard to tell just what this young lady got hit with.

For example, did this girl just get hit with a bowl of breakfast cereal? A bag of cornmeal? A full-on loaf of bread?

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You know what, scratch all those questions, and just answer us this: why?

Source, images: Hamster Sokuho