Have you been neglecting your Japanese studies recently? Maybe you’ve been struck down with a case of the May blues? We have just the ticket to get you right back on track!

We’ve scoured the dark depths of the Japanese internet to bring you this brand new mini-lesson: how to talk about boobs in Japanese on internet forums. Don’t worry, reader – just like last time, there are pictures too. Just to double-check your understanding, of course.

Today’s lesson comes from a post on Japanese forum 2channel. The thread title is 天然巨乳と寄せて上げた偽巨乳の見分け方. That’s a bit of a mouthful! Let’s break it down piece by piece.

As is often the case with Japanese, to figure out what a sentence is talking about, we have to skip to the end:

ten’nin kyonyū to yosete-ageta nise kyonyū no miwakekata

見分ける (miwakeru) means to tell things apart. When used as a suffix, 方 (kata) means “how to do something”. 見分け方 (miwakekata), therefore, means to how to tell things apart. In this case: boobs.


(This also explains why you’ll sometimes see “how to eat” written on signs in restaurants in Japan: it’s an enthusiastic direct translation of 食べ方 – tabekata, meaning “the way to eat something”).


“But hang on a minute!” I hear you cry. “What about the rest of the sentence? You’ve just missed out the main part!” Reader, you are right. What kind of boobs are we dealing with here?


ten’nin kyonyū to yosete-ageta nise kyonyū no miwakekata

天然 (ten’nen) means “natural”. Just like this water. That’s natural, too.



And 巨乳 (kyonyū) means “giant breasts”. Eagle-eyed anime fans may spot that the first kanji character of kyonyū also appears in Attack on Titan‘s original Japanese title: 進撃の巨人, Shingeki no Kyojin.

So we’re going to learn to tell apart ten’nin kyonyū (natural giant boobs), and…what else?

ten’nin kyonyū to yosete-ageta nise kyonyū no miwakekata

寄せて上げた偽 (yosete-ageta nise) giant boobs. Yoseru means to push together, and ageru means to lift up. 偽 nise, meanwhile, means fake. Giant, pushed-up fake boobs, then. Examples are provided below.

On the left: yosete ageta fake titanic-boobs. On the right: the real deal, apparently.


What’s all that (  Y  ) and (   I   ) business about, though? Well, according to 2channel’s Japanese netizens, fake breasts make a Y-shape when pushed together, whereas natural boobs will form a straight cleavage that looks like the letter I.

Commenters on 2channel were more or less in consensus that further research is required, though:

“Really you have to touch them to be able to tell.”

“I can tell fake boobs in an instant.”

“I learned a lot from this post.”

“There are no shortcuts to becoming a fake-spotting expert. You must look at tens of thousands of boobs every day.”

There we have it, dear reader. Don’t say we never teach you anything!

Source: 2channel
Images: 2channel unless otherwise stated.