It’s fair to say that relations between China and Japan are strained. The two countries have butted heads for decades, and as much as we might wish for world peace, the fueding isn’t likely to stop any time soon. Of course, when two countries aren’t happy with each other, that tends to be reflected in their media, and both countries could be accused not portraying the other very accurately or fairly.

So, it shouldn’t be a surprise that certain Chinese TV shows have drawn comments of amusement from Chinese Internet users with some of their bizarre and dubious quotes, and we think you might get a kick out of them as well!

Every country has its fair share of insane TV moments, but when we saw that the Japanese Niconico News had documented some of the crazier quotes from Chinese TV, we laughed and decided we had to share with our readers! Here are the three that really seem to have got Chinese commenters laughing too.

1) “Japanese soldiers killed my grandfather when he was nine.”

This quote comes from a scene in which a young man and women are talking, with the woman hugging the man from behind, a dour look upon both their faces. The young man claims, “My grandfather was tortured to death by Japanese soldiers when he was nine. I hate those soldiers.”

This comment from a Chinese Internet user sums up the general reaction to this crazy dialogue. “Your grandfather was way too virile. If a biologist took a look at him, he’d probably spit blood.”

2) “If we shoot them from 800 li, we could wipe out the Japanese machine gun nest.”

This one doesn’t seem so crazy at first, until you learn how long a li is. The unit of measure has varied in terms of its accepted meaning over time, but contemporaneously it’s about 0.5 kilometers (about 546 yards). Which would mean that these TV soldiers were apparently planning to shoot a machine gun nest from roughly 400 kilometers (about 248 miles).

The longest confirmed sniper shot is 2,475 meters (1.5 miles), in case you were wondering. Maybe they had somehow acquired a V-2 rocket

3) “My comrades! This is the seventh year of the war against Japan. This is the last year. Don’t give up now!”

Again, this one doesn’t seem that strange at first, but it comes from a period drama about Chinese soldiers fighting in World War II. Who, unless they were either psychic or time travelers, would have had no idea how long the war would last! That said, it’s an understandable mistake for Chinese writers to make since, according to Niconico News, it’s common knowledge in China that the war lasted for eight years.

In fact, Niconico News pointed out that these kinds of mistakes are both kind of understandable and also incredibly common. Like any entertainment industry, Chinese TV producers and writers are under constant, heavy deadlines, so it’s not crazy that someone would write something without thinking too hard about it. What’s funny is that no one stopped and asked, “Wait, how did that guy’s grandfather die at only nine years old?” before the show aired.

And Chinese commenters have noticed too, often mocking the sloppy writing, calling it laughable or historically impossible. This is hardly a new phenomenon either, as GlobalVoices pointed out in 2013. Here are a few comments GlobalVoices translated from Chinese, but be sure to check out their article for more, as well as some really thoughtful (and amusing) reactions from Chinese Internet users on the bizarre state of China’s period dramas.




Some of these scenes are so insane, we reckon they would make John McClane shake his shiny, bald head in disbelief. Still, we don’t want to criticize too loudly. All this is hardly any more laughable than the average CSI episode.

Sources: GlobalVoicesNiconio News via Hachima Kikou
Images: Weibo