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Last fall, we looked at an issue very close to our hearts (and arteries): the continuing butter shortage in Japan. In times of crisis, it goes without saying that the Japanese people look to RocketNews24 for leadership and guidance, and we came up with a solution.

While it’s getting harder to find butter in Japan, milk and cream are still easy to come by, and if you shake cream hard enough for an extended time you end up with butter. But while our athletically toned staff would ordinarily be up to such a task, we have to keep our arms’ musculature in prime, rested condition for the hours of typing that go into our articles. That’s why we turned to something just as powerful as a team of Internet writers, as automaker Nissan supplied us with a high-powered sports car.

Lacking hands, though, it’s not like a car can grip the handle of a butter churner. So instead, we grabbed a bottle of cream, hopped in the car, and tore off for several laps around one of Japan’s most famous racing circuits, with the goal of subjecting the cream to enough g-forces to turn it into butter. Did our plan work? Read on and find out!

Since we’re based in Tokyo, home to one of the world’s finest public transportation networks, the RocketNews24 garage isn’t exactly filled with high performance rides. But we needed an engine with enough oomph and a drivetrain that could pull enough Gs to transform a liquid into a solid, so our three-cylinder, front-wheel drive company car wasn’t going to cut it.

We decided to reach out to Nissan for help, but we weren’t sure what kind of response we’d get by calling up the corporate office and asking, “Hey, could you lend us an awesome car to make butter with?” Given the absurdity of the request, we decided to give the task of making the call to Mr. Sato, head of RocketNews24’s Crazy Division.

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To our surprise, Nissan was immediately onboard. When they said they’d hook us up with a 370Z (known as the Fairlady Z in Japan) sports coupe, we were happy. When they said they’d rent out Tsukuba Circuit, one of the country’s most storied racing venues, for the experiment, we were ecstatic. And when they said that our driver would be Ronnie Quintarelli, 2014 Super GT 500 series champion? We could practically taste the butter already.

We showed up at the track, and after getting Mr. Sato in his racing suit, the next step was to fill a plastic bottle with cream. After our man strapped on his helmet, we strapped the container to his headgear.

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With Ronnie behind the wheel, Mr. Sato riding shotgun, and the track clear of other cars, it was time to commence hooning!

▼ And hoon we did.

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Even in stock form, the Z’s torquey engine and rear-wheel drive layout made it easy to toss about, especially with a pro like Ronnie behind the wheel. As he stoically flung the Z around the hairpins and sweepers of Tsukuba, Mr. Sato diligently recorded video, grimaced, and made silly noises.

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After 20 minutes, it was time to come into the pits and over to the table.

▼ Thankfully, the bottle’s cap stayed on throughout Mr. Sato’s wild ride.

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We sliced off the top of the container, grabbed a spoon, and…


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Not only had we produced butter while burning rubber, it was smooth and tasty to boot.

▼ Could this be the start of an Indy 500-like tradition where winning drivers at Tsukuba chow down on a victory slice of toast with 370Z butter?

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Thanks, Ronnie, and thanks, Nissan! If you guys ever decide to actually build and sell that Ultimate Smart BBQ car, we know just what we’re putting on our roasted corn on the cob.

Images: YouTube/Nissan Newsroom
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