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Swooning ladies and manly men, your prayers have been answered.

We’ve seen plenty of bizarre, burly, and butts-a-plenty calendars before (we even made one of our own), but never before have we seen anything like this.

The Russian newspaper Zvezdi I Soveti (Stars and Advice) put out a 2016 calendar where every month brings you Russian President Vladimir Putin posing in a new way. The newspaper printed over 200,000 copies, and they’re selling fast, so let’s take a look and see what makes this calendar so great.

▼ The cover of the calendar. Oh baby, we’re in for a treat!

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▼ January shows off Putin’s warm side with him lighting a candle in a church. Exciting!

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▼ February has Putin hanging out with a horse that
looks like it’d rather be anywhere else.

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▼ March shows Putin’s sensitive side.
When was the last time you pondered the scent of a flower?

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▼ April gives us a glimpse into Putin’s intense exercise regimen.

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▼ May shows Putin as a family man, staring off into the contemplative distance.

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▼ June makes it clear that Putin is not less popular than One Direction.

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▼ July finally gives you what you’ve been wanting,
and that look on Putin’s face means he knows you’ve been waiting for it.

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▼ August has Putin hanging out with a fish that looks like it’d rather be anywhere else.

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▼ September shows us a great picture from Putin’s high school prom.

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▼ October brings us back to the classic “I’ll kill you and
everyone you care about” Putin. Adorable.

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▼ November has Putin hanging out with a dog that
looks like it’d rather be anywhere else.

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▼ And finally in December we see Putin’s middle school yearbook photo.

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▼ Ooh, a sneak peek of next year?! Sign me up!

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If you want to get your hands on one of these babies… well then you’d better fly to Russia pretty soon, because there doesn’t seem to be any other way to acquire one.

The only possible method is through a site like eBay, and they seem to be charging a bit of a markup:

▼ Oh no, what if somebody outbids me?!
I’d better just go with the US$1,091,350 Buy It Now option right away.

putin calendar ebayeBay

Source: CNN via Kinisoku
Images: CNN