ezgif.com-resize (2)

With an attractive woman suggestively licking mushroom-shaped candy, and instructions to “shoot your load of ‘secret sauce’ over the cracker”, these commercials don’t hold back.

As the saying goes, “sex sells”, but can it really sell anything and everything? Well, when you’re trying to sell phallic-shaped lollipops and moist, wet rice crackers…sure, why not? Or so seems to think Village Vanguard, Japan’s popular novelty book store for all things weird and wacky.

Starting April 13, you can find these two new items from Village Vanguard’s original brand “Villepan” (represented by a most-appropriate panda logo) on its online store. First is the Nameru Dake (literally “Mushroom that You Lick”), a hard candy which is available in three different types of mushrooms, two flavors, and multiple lengths.

▼King trumpet mushroom, cola flavor, 7.5 centimeters (approximately three inches)

1

▼Fly agaric mushroom, apple flavor, seven centimeters

2

▼Porcini mushroom, cola flavor, six centimeters

3Images: Village Vanguard

And how many different ways is there to lick a mushroom lolly? “One night stand-lick” and “In the dark-lick” are just a couple that are demonstrated in the commercial below.

Senbei, or rice crackers, are one of the most widely available snacks you’ll find in Japan. One particular variety is called nure senbei, which literally means “wet senbei”. While your standard senbei are deafeningly crunchy, nure senbei are soft and chewy. And now, Villepan brings you “sopping wet” senbei, which of course come with a highly suggestive commercial of their own.

We are first introduced to the cracker through a fairy tale of sorts featuring a lovey-dovey ukiyo-e-style couple. After some partially bleeped-out sweet talking, the man leans down off-screen to do some lady-bit pleasuring, coming back up a moment later to remark how wet and delicious she is. Or he very well could just be eating one of those senbei down there, for all we know.

Nure senbei usually come individually wrapped and ready to eat, but you’ve got to do a bit of extra work with these ones to get them extra wet.

▼ Protection is important; things could get pretty messy otherwise.

10

▼ Shooting your load now seems a bit premature, but best to follow the directions.

11

▼ Some tender caressing will get that cracker nice and wet.

12Images: YouTube/ webbed vv

At only 540 yen (US$5) for mushroom lollipops and 648 yen for the senbei (available online here and here), both would make a perfect, inexpensive give for that friend in your life who can never decide whether they’re hungry or horny!

Sources: YouTube/webbed vv (1, 2), Kai-You
Top image: YouTube/ webbed vv