Mr. Sato overcomes his greatest foe in the battle for time: his own bowels.

Like many writers, when Mr. Sato gets in a groove, he wants nothing to interrupt him. No phones calls, no trips to the store, and no chitchat when he gets writing. However, when many of your articles tackle the subject of eating obscene amounts of food, there is one thing that he simply cannot put aside…

Take this instance where our star writer is hard at work – even though he appears to be typing on an article that he had already published months earlier.

Everything is going smoothly, and Mr. Sato had come up with the perfect bon mot to describe his all-you-can-eat raw egg experience when a rumble in his tummy occurs.

He tries to fight it as his hands type frantically, but the urge gets stronger and stronger. Farts begin to emerge first quiet, but gradually louder and smellier, indicating his impending interruption.

“Not now!!!”

With no alternative, he gathers up his laptop and moves the entire operation onto the toilet. However, with the nuisance of moving and new surroundings of the lavatory, his train of thought has completely derailed.

After one particularly harrowing Taco Bell review, Mr. Sato researched alternatives and came across the “Simple Cardboard Toilet & Partition Setselling on Amazon Japan for only 2,970 yen (US$26).

The order was made and two weeks later his little bundle of joy arrived.

These cardboard toilets were meant to be used in disaster situations for emergency shelters, but to Mr. Sato, mood-killing bowel movements were his own private catastrophes and required a suitable countermeasure.

It came in two piles of cardboard, one to be assembled into a toilet bowl and the other to be crafted into a privacy-securing partition. Mr. Sato was impressed with the quality of cardboard. It was both durable and light, and very easy to assemble.

Each unit is also designed to be foldable for easy storage.

Assembly of both the can and partition took about 20 minutes. It was a minuscule price to pay for all the time he was about to save himself.

The toilet bowl was fitted with a plastic bag, into which a special coagulant is put. This chemical that came with the toilet acts to solidify any waste that enters it.

And with that, it was complete!

Finally, Mr. Sato, his desk, and his toilet were as one.

Now, any time his stomach began to churn, Mr. Sato could just keep on working without missing a second of potentially valuable inspiration. It gave him an added sense of security as well. If terrorists were to take over the RocketNews24 offices, Mr. Sato could stay holed up at his desk, self-sufficient for quite some time.

Even better, Mr. Sato began finding benefits to his desk toilet that he hadn’t even anticipated. First, because he was sitting on the toilet all the time, his need for pants vanished. To his amazement the liberating sensation of working without pants opened his mind up to new realms of thought.

A popular saying is “don’t s%&t where you eat,” and that is sage advice. The converse, however, is fool’s talk as Mr. Sato discovered it to be a golden rule for the time conscious worker. By snacking both at his desk and on his toilet, his body became a freeway of ideas and digestible matter operating at peak efficiency.

If all that weren’t enough, Mr. Sato’s toilet kept all his co-workers at a safe distance so they wouldn’t bother him with questions or idle chatter while he was creating. In fact, after a while people didn’t even call him on the telephone anymore, leaving him to focus fully on his craft.

Like before as it had in the areas of fashion and residency, cardboard has once again revolutionized Mr. Sato’s life. Sure, he’s completely withdrawn from society now, but society is highly overrated anyway. Isn’t that right Mr. Sato?

That’s right.

Reference: Amazon Japan/Simple Cardboard Toilet & Partition Set
Photos: ©RocketNews24
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