Laments the officer handling his case has “no tolerance whatsoever” for hentai and loli dojinshi.

Melonpan, Switzerland’s famous, and most perverted, otaku has been going through a rough patch for the past few months. In April, he lost his job with Swiss bank UBS after his employer found out about his penchant for pornographic anime and manga. A month later, he landed a job with delivery service DHL, but once again, his taste in media turned out to be too much for the company to stomach, and he was fired on his first day.

Still, Melonpan had enough financial resources to take a trip to Japan this summer, apparently coinciding with Comiket, the country’s largest gathering of independently produced dojinshi manga. He apparently also had enough room in his budget to purchase roughly 30 kilograms (66 pounds) of dojinshi, which for many otaku would be a dream come true…but it’s turned into a nightmare for Melonpan.

Trying to lug all that manga back in his suitcase, coupled with his other belongings, would almost certainly have put Melonpan over his airline’s baggage weight limit. So instead, he decided to mail his purchases back to Switzerland. After returning to his home country, he received a notice that his parcel had arrived, but that it had also been seized by Swiss customs officials.

Melonpan’s above tweet reads:

“On my recent trip to Japan, I mailed 30 kilograms of dojinshi (mostly loli), but today customs told me they’ve confiscated it and I must come in soon to explain myself. Everyone, please pray once again that the customs officials will be able to understand the wonderfulness of Japanese art! I’m tired of being in the slammer.”

The last sentence is a little confusing, as Melonpan hasn’t been taken into custody for the parcel, and it’s unclear whether he actually wants to refer to some previous incarceration or is simply misusing the Japanese expression in his tweet. Regardless, the next day, August 16, he tweeted again, lamenting the uphill battle of convincing the government that dojinshi of the loli category (which depicts young, often pre-teen girls in provocative poses and situations) is benign.

“The situation isn’t looking good. It’s like the female official handling my case has no tolerance whatsoever for hentai culture, and is even stricter about loli stuff. Is this as far as my hentai gentlemanliness will take me? I’m scared.”

He followed this up with a bold proclamation…

“Time to move to Japan.”

…and then, in a rarity for the unabashed fan of lascivious Japanese comics, an English tweet.

Considering the abject despair shown in Melonpan’s tweets, it’s hard to say if he’s sincere in his professed emigration ambitions, or simply struggling to find a way to cope with the possibility that he may never get his hands on all that dojinshi he bought. Should he make the move, he might also be surprised to learn that even in Japan, where people are generally content to mind their own business regarding other people’s hobbies, there are limits to how accepting society, and employers, are towards wearing your otaku lecherousness on your sleeve, though relocating would, at the very least, free him from having to deal with the customs department after his shopping excursions.

Source: Twitter/@MeidocafeR via Hachima Kiko
Featured image: Twitter/@MeidocafeR