Five American Candies Guaranteed to Gum Up Your Gut

Mac Denny

Nov 15, 2011

When I think of American candies, I think of sickening confections splashed with garish colors. I went to the United States and checked out a candy store, and I found exactly what I thought I’d see!

These are treats I would never even think of giving my kids (if I had them). Forget the lack of nutritional value; no matter how safe the candies are thought to be, those colors alone make me worry.

Here is my list of the Top Five American Candies Guaranteed to Gum Up Your Gut:

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I have no idea why anyone would want to eat a candy that looks like medicine, but I’d worry that kids would eat this candy and then mistake real pills for candy. And the amount of food coloring they must have used to get those blue and green colors . . . I tried some, and the taste was very average.

#4 Life-Sized Gummy Rat

This real-looking gummy rat tasted like traditional Chinese herbal medicine, and if you’ve never had that, you’re not missing much. It was absolutely disgusting! Horribly revolting! I wasn’t even tempted to eat that thing because a rat would never whet my appetite.

#3 Paper Candy

This taffy can be stretched until it becomes as thin as paper. It wouldn’t be on this list if it were brown or white or some normal color, but blue, red and green? I can’t help but be disturbed just by looking at it. The taste was so-so.

#2 Gummy Caterpillars

I might’ve been willing to enjoy these if they were shaped like cherries or strawberries rather than caterpillars. Why on earth did they decide to make these in the shape of caterpillars? It must be popular with the kids. Gummy caterpillars are too sweet.

#1 Gummy Electrical Wiring

The yellow, red, blue and green food coloring used to color these gummy electrical wires is so bright that it hurts my eyes. The colors make sense on actual wires, but I struggle to understand what purpose they serve on anything edible. I didn’t even want to try these, but they were the most delicious candies on my list! The taste was addicting, and the damage done to the body intangible. This is definitely a sinful treat.

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Pictures: RocketNews24

#5 Ramune Pills