It’s nearly the weekend! Yaaaay! But before you all skip off to join your friends and pretend to be a normal human being, make sure you have all the info you need and are up on the week’s weird news from Asia. After all, how else will you win the respect of your peers? With love and kindness!? Madness. Take our weekly multiple-choice quiz, see how much awesome you have flowing through those veins of yours, and maybe even learn an interesting fact or two.
Don’t forget to highlight the space between the square brackets [ Look here , I say!] after the word “Answer:” or click the “Read more” link to check your answers. And remember: every time you cheat, Evil Baby Sato gets a step closer to your door.
Let’s begin, shall we?
- Question 1.
Which of the following everyday words originally comes from Japanese?
A: “Soap”, as in the thing you really ought to be washing your stinky armpits with.
B: “Skosh”, as in ‘”Salt and vinegar on your squirrel bits, guv’ner?” “Yeah, just a skosh!”‘
C: “Sunday”, as in the day that comes four days before Thursday.
D: “Shhhhhfrtftfpojtftffgvfvffvjvfvpcunk”, as in “the keys that I just mashed”.
Answer: [ B ] Read more
- Question 2.
This advertisement caused controversy earlier this week, with many calling it “racist”. But what was the ad actually intended to promote?
A: Life insurance
B: An airline
C: An upcoming TV drama
D: The effect of dirty, filthy lies
Answer: [ B ] Read more
- Question 3.
What is a “doya-gao”?
A: How to respond when unattractive gentleman in a bar asks, “Do you come here often?”
B: A gormless expression
C: A self-satisfied expression
D: A type of vegetable
Answer: [ C ] Read more
- Question 4.
What did Japan’s internet community this week discover Apple’s iPhone is laughably bad at?
A: Customisation – Android FTW!!!
B: Playback of adult videos
C: Simple arithmetic
D: Simple customisation of adult videos
Answer: [ C ] Read more
- Question 5.
What did “hacktivist” group Anonymous take down one Japanese prefecture’s homepage to protest against this week?
A: The unethical treatment of “onsen monkeys”
B: The country’s continued use of nuclear energy
C: Permitting Justin Bieber to enter the country
D: The killing of dolphins
Answer: [ D ] Read more
- Question 6.
What were fishermen in Hokkaido shocked to discover on Wednesday this week?
A: That Wham! had broken up
B: A giant trouser snake amongst a cargo of eels
C: That Disney’s Frozen is still two months away from release in Japan
D: A bright blue crab
Answer: [ D ] Read more
- Question 7.
What did one Japanese tourist do when he discovered the following photo, which was taken with the iPhone that he either lost or was stolen during his recent trip to Bangkok, uploaded to his Apple iCloud account?
A: Change the phone’s display message to communicate with the girl
B: Launch a Facebook campaign to track the girl down and learn her identity
C: Take it to the police, resulting in the girl’s arrest by local authorities
D: Vow to become just like the girl and undergo a sex-change operation
Answer: [ A ] Read more
- Question 8.
Which of the following isn’t a line that respondents to a relationship survey said their significant other had once said to them?
A: “I like you, but let’s break up.”
B: “You look so much like you’re dad it creeps me out.”
C: “It’s no fun being with you.”
D: “Why don’t you lose some weight?”
Answer: [ B ] Read more
- Question 9.
Which of the following is a real flavour of toothpaste available to buy in Japan?
A: Café au lait
B: Sardines
C: Cheese! Cheese!! Cheese!!!
D: Eggplant
Answer: [ D ] Read more
- Question 10.
If a train travelling at 65 miles per house leaves Paddington Station at 9:42 AM and reaches its destination at 10:30 PM, what does that tell us?
A: You’ve created a fictional scenario of farcical proportions; as we all know, there are no such things as trains.
B: Collect ten cereal packets and win an otter!
C: And I said, “What about breakfast at Tiffany’s?” and she said, “Stop it! You’re always changing the subject! Why can’t you take anything seriously?”
D: All of the above
Answer: [ D. Obviously.]
Let’s see how you did!
0 correct: Shut up. Just shut up and get out immediately.
1-3 correct: Well, you know, sometimes words are hard.
4-6 correct: It’s alive! It’s alive!!
7-9 correct: Goodness, you smell nice today.
10 correct: What are you doing tonight? I’m thinking you, me, and a big bag of whatever it is you earth people like to eat.
Have a great weekend, everyone!