Our reporter recently got his uvula lasered off to attempt to cure his chronic snoring. Did it work?
Recently, one of our reporters over at the Japanese side of RocketNews24 wrote a report about the marvellous effects of having his uvula burnt off. Yes, we did say burnt…and yes, we did say uvula!
For those who might not be too familiar with this little piece of the human anatomy, the uvula is that little dangly bit that hangs down in the back of your throat. But here’s where things get super-hilarious: in Japanese, the word for “uvula” is “nodo chinko” which technically means “throat penis”. For the remainder of this article, we shall use the Japanese term.
So, our intrepid reporter K. Nagahashi had suffered through many years of his wife’s complaints about his incessant snoring. However, since K himself managed to sleep quite peacefully through all of the racket, he reckoned his wife was just exaggerating as to the true extent of the intensity of his snores. “Sure, I may have some issues with allergies, and maybe I do a little night-time purring around hay fever season, but I’m not a SNORER!” K declared. Little did he know, it was all because of his throat penis!
However, it was only when his wife informed him that he occasionally stops breathing during his snores (a serious condition known as sleep apnea) that K decided something had to be done. After all, it’s one thing to torment others with your night-time nasal trombone playing, and quite another to find out that YOU might actually be suffering health-wise from too much snoring.
Before consulting a doctor, K hopped on to the Internet and discovered that one possible cause of excess snoring could be an oversized throat penis. What’s more, surgical excision of excess throat penis tissue has been shown to be effective in curing snoring. At this point, K decided to finally see his doctor to inquire about throat penis surgery.
“Your throat penis is indeed quite large”, explained the Doc, “But we can operate.” K wasn’t quite convinced, however. “But what will I do without my throat penis? Will I still be able to talk?” Luckily for K, it appears that human beings don’t actually need a throat penis for a happy life and a complete throat penis-ectomy would have no adverse affects at all. It was then that K decided to take the plunge. His throat penis had caused its mischief for far too long!
K opted to have his throat penis burnt off by laser, a procedure that took approximately 10 minutes and which he describes as extremely painful. In fact, he could barely swallow for days and could only eat soft foods like udon noodles.
So, how were the results? Well, K reports that not only has his snoring significantly decreased, he also tends to sleep much better now and wakes up feeling refreshed. He recommends that chronic snorers take a trip to the doctor’s office to discuss a plan of treatment, which could possibly include throat penis removal.
Top image: Flickr/Michael Coghlan
[ Read in Japanese ]