Do you have a part-time job at a cafe but are somehow also rich? Then you just might be the perfect guy.
It’s a big world out there, and there’s obviously not enough time to date everyone in it. As such, the process of looking for love starts with paring down the worldwide dating pool according to your preferred and desired traits in a romantic partner, which brings us to this photo from Japanese Twitter user @Holy_chorus.
The photo shows a page from a women’s interest magazine, with an illustration of a young man under a heading that proclaims “This is the ultimate young man, who embodies every ideal!”
So let’s take a look at what those ideals are. The list starts off with some physical characteristics.
1. Has black hair
2. Short hairstyle
3. Fair complexion and flat facial features
4. At least 175 centimeters (5 feet, 9 inches) tall
5. Thin and muscular
6. Often wears hooded sweatshirts
7. Dresses casually
8. Prefers navy blue or white clothing
9. Looks like actor/model Kentaro Sakaguchi
▼ Kentaro Sakaguchi
10. Born and raised in Tokyo
11. Spends a lot of time in the Harajuku neighborhood
12. Birthday is in August
13. Blood type O
14. Is the oldest son out of his siblings
15. College graduate (or currently in college)
16. Member of an athletic club (as opposed to an art club)
17. Is a student
18. Has a lot of friends
19. Has had three prior girlfriends
20. Has a lot of money saved up in his bank account
21. Currently works part-time at a cafe
22. Kind and gentle
23. Often says “thank you”
24. Wants to get married someday
25. Spends his money responsibly
26. Limits his per-month clothes purchases to 10,000 yen (US$90)
27. Often rolls up the sleeves of his long-sleeved shirts
28. Is always smiling
29. Will give you accessories for your birthday present
30. Regularly texts/emails/calls you
31. When you’re feeling bad, asks “Are you OK?”
32. Is a member of the soccer team
33. His hobby is watching sports
34. Is athletic
35. Likes eating meat and meaty dishes
36. Loves cola
37. Is into beetles
38. Watches the variety show Shabekuri 007 every day
39. Doesn’t smoke
40. Can drink a lot of alcohol
41. Doesn’t wear cologne
42. Is good at cooking rice omelets
A lot of the items on the list are immediately understandable, but others are pretty serious head-scratchers, or at least incredibly high hurdles to clear. “Looks like a specific professional model,” for example, is pretty hard to pull off, and then there are the points that seem to be contradicting each other, like “15. College graduate (or currently in college)” and “17. Is a student,” unless maybe that’s a roundabout way of saying the ideal man is one who’s enrolled in a graduate program. Also hard to reconcile are “20. Has a lot of money saved up in his bank account” and “21. Currently works part-time at a cafe,” since even full-time cafe work isn’t particularly lucrative (plus, if you’re working part-time in a cafe and spending up to 10,000 yen a month on new clothes, some would argue that doesn’t mesh with “25. Spends his money responsibly”). Oh, and let’s not forget “37. Is into beetles,” implying that an interest in that particular type of bug, but not necessarily others, is attractive.
Meanwhile, many online commenters, @Holy_chorus included, were fixated on the condescending smirk and haughty expression the man in the illustration has, which they felt are indicative of someone who wouldn’t meet criteria 22, “Kind and gentle.” The saddest comment, though, came from one Twitter user regarding points 12-14, “Birthday is in August,” “Blood type O,” and “Is the oldest son out of his siblings,” which caused him to lament:
“No matter how much effort I make there’s nothing I can do about those three things.”
The silver lining here, though, as with all lists like this, is that the collection of traits is being presented as a hypothetical ideal, and in this case is meant to show the “ultimate” young man. It’s not saying that a man has to check off every item on the list before he can be deemed an acceptable or attractive dating partner, so even if you were born in September, odds are you’ve still got a shot.
Source: Twitter/@Holy_chorus via Hachima Kiko
Top image: Pakutaso
Insert images: Pakutaso (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
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Casey says the ideal person is the type who follows him on Twitter.