Recently our correspondent Kuzo was interviewing pizzerias in Sicily. As a result he found himself eating pizza all day every day. Being a gastronomic pro, our reporter was unfazed, but suddenly wondered how the sushi in Italy was. Figuring Sicily’s excellent seafood may yield some equally good sushi, he tracked down a restaurant in Palmero.
However, what he found was so shocking, he couldn’t even remember how the sushi tasted. Kuzo had stumbled on the fabled practice of nyotaimori – eating sushi off naked women.
This sushi shop, So Sushi, was actually a chain restaurant on the grow across Italy. As Kuzo entered he noticed the chef working was from South East Asia, but still had a good feeling that this European take on a Japanese classic was going to be alright.
However, the rest of his experience there was a total blur, possibly the result of PTSD. The next thing he remembered was standing in his hotel room holding a package. The package read, “The First Nyotaimori Kit.”
The package had no markings on it that would suggest it was an import from Japan, China, Thailand, or any other Asian country. This was a So Sushi original. In fact it said “Made In Italy” on it along with “Presenting: Yoshiko.”
Our correspondent fumbled to open that package and unfold the poster inside revealing 190cm tall naked woman who was either heavily airbrushed or generated by computer. “This must be Yoshiko” he thought.
Wondering what to make of all this, Kuzo thought to himself: “did they make this so Italians can enjoy eating off naked women as conveniently as they think Japanese people do? Do they think we really do this… Naw, they can’t seriously… No way. Although… Maybe people in Japan actually do eat off naked ladies and I’m missing out…”
Feeling his grasp on reality slipping away he quickly caught a flight back to Japan. He is currently recovering in a mental care facility, but left a message with us he wanted to pass on to the people of Italy: “Please don’t think Japanese people actually eat off naked women, because we don’t do that… do we?”
Follow the further adventures of Kuzo on Twitter in Japanese
Original Story on Pouch (Japanese)
