In these days of social networks many of us have come up on the problem of which profile picture to use. Scrolling through all the photos you’ve reluctantly let people take of you, it’s hard to find one that relates your true inner beauty. It would be nice if we all had one of those mid-interview shots where people look really interesting.
Sadly though, chances are you haven’t been professionally interviewed and so don’t have one. Don’t worry though, because our crack team of photogenic writers and editors has found a way to easily simulate a photograph that can make anyone look like a truly interesting person. All you need is the magic word: Mokkore! Let’s try.
How to pose for an intellectual looking photo
- Begin by facing the camera.
- Then turn your body about 20 degrees to the left or the right.
- Tilt your head slightly to the left if you’re facing right or vice-versa. Then, position your hands as if you are working a potter’s wheel (you know, that thing they were making out on in the movie Ghost).
- Finally, say “mokkore.” The person taking the photo should be instructed that when you pronounce the “re” is the best moment to hit the shutter.
And you’re done! Now, you look like someone who people are actually interested in listening to when actually you’re just blurting out a word that means “raggedy” in the Aizu (western Fukushima) dialect, but for much of Japan is probably just gibberish.
Unfortunately, properly pronouncing “mokkore” might be a little tricky for some non-native Japanese speakers. You have to make sure you hit that half-syllable double-K sound (mok-ko) and get that little tongue flick in the “re” for best results.
In true scientific fashion we tested this method on three other writers (pictured below) to make sure it wasn’t just a fluke with Mr. Sato. Sure enough, they nearly all mokkored themselves from slack-jawed yokels to captains of industry with a single word. We have to assume there are other words which produce similar or possibly even better results, but as of now only “mokkore” has been properly verified through rigorous testing.
If you happen to know a word in your own language that can make people look like a fascinating person let us know and we might try further experiments.
Original article by Mr. Sato
Photos: RocketNews24
▼ Yoshio: “So I told the actuary, ‘Sir, please take a T-4 form fill it out and take it to window 3.'”
▼ MOKKORE! “So I told Ms. Jolie, ‘Look. We all have African children here so don’t expect me to cut you any slack.'”
▼ Harada: “I fumigated ten houses in the last three days.”
▼ MOKKORE! “My company is hoping to revolutionize how we see kittens in video games with this exciting new product.”
▼ MOKKORE! “I think they put more lettuce than usual on my burger today.”
We didn’t say it was 100% effective.
[ Read in Japanese ]