And are they happy with what they find?
You could say that every time a couple breaks up, it’s the end of a love story. Of course, the former lovers’ will continue to grow as individuals, having new experiences, chasing new dreams, and forming new connections, but once you say goodbye to the person you were dating, you don’t get to see what happens in those later chapters of their life story.
Unless that is, you go on the Internet and run a search for your ex’s name. With so much of our modern lives being documented in one form or another online, a few quick keystrokes or screen taps can update you on what your ex has been up to in a matter of seconds. But how many people in Japan give in to the temptation to do that, and how do they feel about the results they find?
To investigate, SEO no Chiebukuro, a Japanese search engine optimization online portal, conducted a survey, collecting responses from 300 men and 300 women. The first question they asked was whether the survey participants have ever done an online search for a former romantic partner, and roughly three in ten said they have. There was almost no difference in how commonly men and women searched for their exes, with 28.3 percent of women and 29.3 percent of men saying they’ve searched for an ex.
▼ No data was collected as to how many had knocked back a few drinks before performing the search, but you have to think it was a factor fairly often.
When asked how they searched, 64.7 percent of those who had said they used an Internet search engine, such as Google. The next most common method was a Facebook search (32.4 percent), followed by searches on Instagram (20.2 percent) and Twitter (13.3 percent), with “other” also accounting for 1.7 percent.
As for why they were checking up on their ex, responses included:
“I still sort of have feelings for my ex, so I want to know what he’s doing these days.”
“It’s been a couple years since we broke up, so I wanted to see how she’s changed since then.”
“I want to know what kind of life he’s living.”
“I wanted to see if she’s found a new boyfriend.”
“I’m curious to see if he’s living a happy life.”
“I was doing an Internet search for something completely unrelated, but all of a sudden her name popped into my head, so I ran a search for it too.”
“I suddenly found myself remembering our times together, so I got curious about what he’s up to.”
“I wanted to see if her career is going well.”
Even with all of the Internet at their disposal, though, only 41 percent of those who searched online for their ex were able to find them. For those that did, how did they feel about what they saw?
“I’d wanted to break up with her when our relationship ended, but the search results still made me feel queasy.”
“I was glad to see he’s doing well.”
“I felt sad, like he’s living in a different world, far away from the one I’m in.”
“It was good to see he’s trying hard in a new job, but I was worried to see him complaining about things.”
“I was sad, because it seems like he’s forgotten all about me.”
“I thought ‘Hey, she looks good.’”
“I thought ‘I’m happy I broke up with him.’”
“It looks like he’s accomplished the dreams he talked about when we were dating, so I felt happy, and proud of him too.”
As those final reactions show, searching for an ex online really is a throw of the dice, and probably not something to do without giving it some serious thought first, since there’s no guarantee that what you find will make you feel good. In the meantime, if you’d rather use the Internet to help you move on to your next relationship, we might be able to lend a hand.
Source: PR Times, SEO no Chiebukuro
Top image: Pakutaso
Insert images: Pakutaso
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