As we’ve talked about before, kabe-don is the trendy new way for Japanese bad boys to soft sexually assault their crush. It consists of a guy approaching a girl he (presumably) has a thing for, who is ideally leaning against a wall, then suddenly smacking the wall with their palm and getting in reaaaaalllly close so the girl can smell his garlic breath.
Oddly enough, a lot of Japanese girls go absolutely wild for the idea of the kabe-don, in the same way guys love the idea of owning a Weird Science-esque sexbot; It’s sexy and cool on paper, frightening and creepy in real life.
Luckily for any girls who find themselves the unwilling recipient of an ill-advised kabe-don, someone has created an illustrated self-defense guide:
The guide conveniently breaks down self-defense options depending on how persistent the guy or unwanted the advance.
Level 1 is a quick knuckle thrust just below the armpit. With luck, you’ll be able to slip a knuckle into the tender spot between the would-be suitor’s ribs; a clear warning to back off, but no lasting damage unless you accidentally hit the ninja death punch sweet spot.
Level 2 is a solid jab to the center of the guy’s torso, right around the same level as his elbow. Martial arts folks might recognize this as the small, baseball-sized area that “knocks the wind” out of someone when struck.
For very persistent individuals or extremely unwanted advances, Level 3 is perfect: a hook to the jaw. Make sure you go for the attacker’s vulnerable side – he’s got one arm up on the wall in a sort of de facto defense, but since he thinks he’s super cool, he probably has his other hand in his pocket. Aim for that side and make it count. The side-to-side snapping of the head caused by a hook is more likely to result in loss of consciousness than a straight punch.
And, for the very worst offenders, Level 4 suggests launching yourself up and driving the top of your head into your attacker’s jaw. This can cause lasting damage and possibly death (as can Level 3), so it’s probably best to use this one only if you feel in imminent physical danger.
And remember, ladies, with great power comes great responsibility. Since the kabe-don is trending, you might find yourself on the receiving end of an unwanted one, but do try to gauge the real danger of the situation before resorting to something that might put the poor mope in the hospital for a month. For example, this kabe-don situation, while certainly unwanted, is probably unintentional and doesn’t warrant a karate chop to the neck:
Source: Kai-You
Photo: @Nakashima723