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Mr. Sato gives his first ever autograph, gets a broken heart in return

Sep 20, 2014

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Last year, our intrepid Japanese correspondent, Mr. Sato, basked in the limelight as he became the first person in Japan to buy a Docomo iPhone 5S. Now, with the new iPhone 6 and 6 Plus going on sale, he’s determined to capture another five minutes of fame, so he’s been camping out in front of the Docomo store in Tokyo’s downtown Marunouchi district since four days ago.

Lining up so early meant a lot of lonely downtime, but recently Mr. Sato’s day was brightened when a young lady asked him for his autograph! At least, it was brightened for a moment, before he learned the sobering secret behind her request.

We’re going to turn things over to Mr. Sato himself to describe what happened, after a brief self-introduction:

I’m a middle-aged guy. It might sound kind of weird to say this about yourself, but aside from having kind of a unique face, I don’t really have any saving grace. What’s more, my face isn’t necessarily interesting in a good way, and it makes some people feel uncomfortable or disgusted.

But even for a guy like me, if you live long enough, something good will happen, even if it’s a little thing…While I was lined up waiting for the launch of the iPhone 6 Plus, someone asked me for my autograph! And it was a girl!

▼ Mr. Sato as he ordinarily appears: crushingly alone.

On the evening of September 17, she appeared, asking, “You’re Mr. Sato, aren’t you?” I told her I sure was, and she slowly pulled out the thick, square card people use to ask for autographs in Japan. “Can I ask you to sign this for me?” she said.

▼ We can’t see her face, but hey, her clothes are definitely cute!

“Whoa, hold on!” I thought. “I’m no star!” Really, I was overwhelmed, and her request made my heart dance with joy.

But then we talked a little more, and she told me she didn’t want the autograph for herself. A guy she knew asked her to get it for him, and that was why she’d come.

What the heck, it’s for a guy? I already know I’ve got some fans who’re middle-aged dudes like me…

As soon as I heard the truth, I was filled with disappointment. If you’re a middle-aged dude like me, you should be able to understand. Damn it all…

Too bad, Mr. Sato. But to his credit, our reporter was still willing to sign the card for his anonymous Y-chromosome bearing fan. And hey, this is the very first time he’s been asked for his signature! Who knows, maybe someday some nice young lady will ask him without being prodded into it by some other dude.

▼ In the meantime, we’re still wondering whether it was a lack of experience or seething jealousy that caused him to screw up writing the date.

Photos: RocketNews24
[ Read in Japanese ]


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