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Japanese Twitter in roaring dispute over father who refuses to meet daughter’s tattooed boyfriend

Aug 16, 2019

“This is the regret that comes from getting tattooed,” says the father.

Personally, I think tattoos look really cool. Even the ones that go horribly wrong are a great story in and of themselves, and even then sometimes you can even get a great cover-up!

Japan has a textured past with tattoo artistry – while traditional Japanese tattoos are some of the most majestic and awe-inspiring, there’s an undeniable connection between body ink and the Japanese criminal underworld.

This might be why Twitter user @25kimi1, an ex-police officer who writes about criminal matters online, has such strong feelings on the subject. In his Twitter thread below he expressed his opinions:

“When my daughter told me, ‘I want you to meet my boyfriend’, I refused.
Why? Because he has tattoos.
I am certain that when he chose to get the tattoo, those around him warned him “You’ll regret that someday.”
Now he’s reaching out to me, because he wants to marry my daughter. And I, as her father, am going to treat him like I would any of those [tattooed] punks.
This is the regret that comes from getting tattooed.”

When one commenter asked “Why would you regret a tattoo?” he responded “Many reasons, but on a societal level there are many disadvantages. You cannot visit an onsen, and you must cover up to participate in sports…”

But he had even more to say on the subject than that:

“My daughter insisted ‘He really is a good guy’… I want you to consider this, though.
When those around him warned him not to get a tattoo, he didn’t listen to them. He was the kind of guy to think “Well, that has nothing to do with me.” That’s his personality. And now that callousness is coming back to bite him.
I just don’t have enough generosity to accept that a guy like that can still be a ‘good guy’…”

While he got numerous responses praising his moral conviction, others were shocked by his unwillingness to support his daughter and her partner, especially when it transpired that his daughter also has a four-year-old child. As the comments racked up he became unable to reply to all of the comments individually, although he wryly commented that he would “consider all of them deeply,” even the ones that called him “gross” or an “out-of-touch old man.”

@25kimi1 further clarified his stance further down the thread:

“I think people should be free to get tattoos if they like. And honestly, I deeply admire those who get tattoos while accepting all of the drawbacks that come from having them in Japanese society, without ever crying ‘This is discrimination!’ At the same time, I don’t feel any obligation to allow my daughter and grandchild to get tangled up in those drawbacks.”

“I have informed my daughter’s boyfriend that I refuse to meet him, so what happens from here on out is up to my daughter. I expect if the two of them talk it out between themselves and decide what to do, then they should get better results than if I handle everything for her. My daughter has a four-year-old child, so I just hope they can work things out in a way that won’t result in bad influences for someone so young.”

His words resulted in a deluge of attention, so much so that @25kimi1 had to write another message apologizing for how long it would take him to reply to everyone’s messages (including harsh messages such as “You should keep your mouth shut” and “Die”). Interestingly, the responses to his impassioned rant were varied: many people expressed similar worries for their own children and their partners, while a number of people shared anecdotes of tattooed people who had improved their lives.

Notably, though, an overwhelming number agreed with his implicit argument: that getting a tattoo would make your life harder. Even people who had considered getting ink in the past admitted they had decided against it once they realized it would mean giving up their pool privileges, or that it might cause people at work to look down on them.

Some laws are relaxing, and with the increase of small and stylish tattoos it’s likely the stigma towards them will slowly lessen…but it might take a lot longer for society to accept the art of tattooists than it takes for ink to fade.

Source: Twitter/@25kimi1 via My Game News Flash
Featured image: Flickr/William Cho

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