When you stop and think about it, personal grooming should be everything to the man-eating giants of Attack on Titan. After all, it’s not like they can rely on their fashion sense to look their best, since they’re constantly naked.
By nature, though, giants have giant beards. So how do you fight back against so much facial hair? With a whole new branch of Attack on Titan’s military, as documented in three new animated shorts.
The series comes courtesy of a partnership with male grooming product manufacturer Schick, which has previously demonstrated it knows what its target market likes by giving us ads that feature big robots and big breasts. Next up is Schick’s promised tie-up with the hottest anime series in recent memory, Attack on Titan.
The very first video opens like any episode of the Attack on Titan TV series, with ominous music and a solemn voiceover by Armin, the childhood friend of series protagonist Eren.
Armin’s narration is a little different from what we’ve heard before though, offering this strange wrinkle on the existing story of humanity locked in a violent struggle against the Titans.
“In 2014, humanity learned that all the Titans want is for us to shave their beards. Mankind chose not to fight off the Titans, but to refreshingly shave them, so they would leave of their own accord.
And so, the Shaving Corps was created.”
Still, not everyone is immediately up to the challenge, as we see Eren in an impassioned debate with his peers.
▼ “I’m going to join the Shaving Corps, and then I’ll shave the Titans’ beards!”
▼ “There’s no way you can shave them smoothly, being gentle to the skin as you moisten it!”
Eren’s faith won’t be knocked, though, due to his unwavering belief that with the proper equipment from Schick, humanity still has a chance.
▼ “No! I know the Titans’ chins are big, and their beards are thick, so it’ll be difficult, but we can do it!”
Inspired by his determination, Eren’s friends Armin and Mikasa pledge to follow him into the newly formed regiment.
▼ “Eren, I’m going to join the Shaving Corps, too!”
▼ “What are you talking about? You’ve never shaved in your life!”
▼ “If I’m not with you, you might miss some spots, Eren.”
This is only the first Refresh on Titan short. In later installments, we see Mikasa bravely declaring she’ll shave all the Titans herself, after her cohorts lose their nerve.
▼ “Fine. Those of you who don’t have the guts can just stay behind and rub your chins.”
Later, frustrated would-be hero Jean faces seemingly insurmountable odds. With a line of five giants already waiting for a shave, yet another Titan shows up. How will Jean get out of this pinch?
▼ “I’m sorry, but do you have a reservation? We’re really busy today!”
▼ “Really sorry. Please come back again soon!”
If you’re craving still more Titan-shaving action, Schick is currently giving away Shaving Corps figures bundled with its Hyrdo 5, Hydro 5 Power Select, Hyrdo 4, Quattro 5, and Protector 3 razors.
▼ We’re not sure why the Colossal Titan needs to shave when he doesn’t have any skin, but we still kind of want one.
If you’d rather have your figures like-like than super-deformed, you can also purchase one of two Hydro 5 holders, which come with the razor and four replacement blades.
▼ There’re Mikasa and Levi versions, proving once again that Eren is, at best, the third-most popular character in his own series.
Finally, if you’re already all set with razors, buying a can of Schick’s Hydro shaving gel or regular shaving cream will get you a download code for one of seven Shaving Corps smartphone photo frames.
Sadly, there’s no word on how much you have to buy before Schick will actually dispatch a team of shaving technicians equipped with 3-D maneuver gear to hack away your stubble for you. In the meantime, though, it’s nice to have a dramatic back story for the chore of shaving.
▼ The videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZF0Nhlb4Rg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoJ-Wdbgg6g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9CPGRKKZOI
Source: Schick Japan
Top image: Schick Japan
Insert images: YouTube (1, 2, 3), Schick Japan