Crowdfunding, in its most idealized and theoretical form, should optimize the way financial resources get used. Projects that embody things held to have value should succeed, and things that society feels it can do without shouldn’t.
In practice, though, sometimes frivolous initiatives succeed even as noble causes die on the vine, because real-world economics often have more to do with wants than needs. But even while we understand that principle, what we can’t quite wrap our heads around is how a crowdfunding project for strap-on anime dongs got enough pledges to meet its goal.
While it might sound like a story about the power of music, Daimidaler the Sound Robot is actually about the power of horniness, since the title’s “sound” is a reference to the normal, healthy urges a boy experiences as he goes through puberty. Protagonist Koichi’s lust turns out to be anything but normal, though, as his sexual desire can be used to power the giant robot Daimidaler, humanity’s mightiest weapon against the evil invading Penguin Empire.
Well, actually, the commandos of the Penguin Army might not actually be all that bad. Unlike Koichi and his cohorts, they make limiting collateral damage to the cities they battle in a priority, and it’s sometimes unclear whether they should be considered the villains or actual heroes of the series.
What is clear, though, is that they sport forearm-length boners.
Series creator Asaki Nakama can call them “front tails” all he wants. He’s not fooling us. We know a penguin alien wiener when we see one, and that’s exactly what that is.
There’s no denying that it’s a memorable design choice, though, which is why the front tail was the subject of a recently successful project on Japanese website Cross Crowd Funding.
Used one way, the front tail strap, which bears the mark of the Penguin Empire on its base, is a ridiculously oversized smartphone accessory.
▼ “I don’t know, boss. I pulled out my smartphone to demonstrate the app prototype we put together for the client, and the negotiation just went downhill from there. Maybe my flashy tie rubbed them the wrong way?”
The strap’s makers have also shown that it can be used as a wrist rest in a pinch.
But there’s one more way to use the front tail strap, and it involves the included belt.
Clip the end onto a plastic connector ring on the front tail, slide the belt around your waist, attach the other end, and you’re all set to make sure no one who sees you ever speaks to you again.
▼ “Please have a seat right here, Mr. Johnson. An arresting officer will be with you right away.”
While you might think the front tail strap reaching its crowdfunding goal signals the end of humanity, thankfully it only represents a lack of hope for a much smaller portion of the species. The project was funded with a modest sum of 35,000 yen (US $304) from just 10 backers.
What’s a little scarier is the fact that now that the odd bit of anime fashion is funded, an additional 90 are being offered, at a price of 3,500 yen ($30) each. But hey, to each his freaky own, so if you’ve ever wanted a bigger unit, plus one that’s made out of cloth and both shaped and colored like a shark fin, here’s your chance.
Source: IT Media
Top image: Book Walker
Insert images: Cross Crowd Funding (1, 2)