The world’s biggest search engine has spoken: this is Japan’s number-one ikemen (but not because of this photo).
Due to the wide range of topics we cover here on SoraNews24, our Google search histories show a high level of variety. “Asian black bear average weight,” “pyewwww correct spelling,” and “live farting show what date” are all things we’ve had to investigate, and that’s just in the past week.
So when our reporter Ahiru Neko needed to Google ikemen, the Japanese slang term for “hot guy,” the search was so low on the weirdness level that he doesn’t even remember why he needed to. Typing it into the Google search bar and hitting enter, he expected the search to spit back a photo of one of Japan’s favorite young actors, like maybe Ryusei Yokohama.
▼ Yokohama, who’s handsome enough to mesmerize women just by pouring syrup on their pancakes (and no, that’s not a euphemism)
But while Ahiru Neko can’t remember why he was Googling “ikemen” (イケメン, when written in katakana) he totally remembers what happened next, because he instantly recognized the top photo that Google showed him.
And no, he didn’t recognize him from a movie, TV drama, or music video, but from across the office…
…because Google’s top ikemen result is none other than SoraNews24’s ace reporter Mr. Sato!
Ahiru Neko was startled, as anyone would be to find that the modern world’s greatest font of knowledge has designated one of their coworkers as the most perfect example of what a handsome dude looks like. But then he thought about it some more, and remembered that while Mr. Sato sometimes makes some unusual fashion choices…
…he also cleans up quite nicely.
But still, the top result for ikemen? Isn’t that going a little far? Still, Ahiru Neko felt compelled to tell Mr. Sato of the status Google had bestowed upon him. “Hey, Mr. Sato, Google says you’re the best visual example of an ikemen,” he called out, while showing him the results, to which his search engine-certified colleague casually replied:
“Oh, that photo? Yeah I took that for an article I wrote back in 2011, so this is proof that I’ve been a handsome guy for at least nine years.”
Nine years. That’s almost a decade, and never once had Mr. Sato bragged to Ahiru Neko about how good-looking he is. On the contrary, he’d quietly allowed Ahiru Neko to believe he was the best-looking guy in the office, even graciously stepping aside when fellow reporter P.K. Sanjun was looking for a handsome dude’s face to throw a hot crepe on.
Such humility. Such generosity. Maybe Google knew about Mr. Sato’s inner beauty, and factored that into account when crowning him the Internet’s number-one ikemen. Or maybe the ikemen face-enhancing photo app he was testing in that article nine years ago really is that effective.
Either way, it’s an honor he’s happy to have, and now that the SoraNews24 team has been recognized by Google as the faces of both handsomeness and baldness, we can’t help but wonder what else we might soon unknowingly become the visual definition of.
Source: Google
Top image: SoraNews24
Insert images: Google, SoraNews24
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