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Renovations at our cheap Japanese house in the countryside plummet to new lows

Feb 19, 2024

What has our boss lying face down on the floor?

The other day, our Japanese language-reporter Go Hatori was with our boss Yoshio at the SoraHouse, the cheap countryside property we purchased in 2021 for a super cheap 1 million yen (US$9,100 going by exchange rates at the time).

The countryside retreat is still in the process of being renovated, but the rural idyll always puts a smile on Yoshio’s face, so Go became concerned when he saw his boss on the floor looking sullen.

▼ “This sucks.”

Was the cost and hassle of the renovations getting him down? Was he giving up hope on turning the old house into the home of our dreams?

▼ “My neck hurts when I lie like on my stomach like this and use my smartphone.”

▼ “I feel like my neck wants to be like this, but then the screen’s too close.”

▼ “Is there something we can do about it?”

Breathing a sigh of relief that Yoshio’s prostrate position and concerned look had nothing to do with the renovations and was more of a desire to solve his neck problem, Go came up with a bright idea that might help.

▼ He disappeared for a moment and then reappeared with a chainsaw.

So what was Go’s bright idea?

▼ To chainsaw a hole in the floorboards.

Well, that wouldn’t have been our solution to the problem, but when Go has a plan we know better than to get in his way.

Go’s bright ideas have worked out better than we expected them to in the past, so how would his “Face-Down Smartphone Hole” fare?

We have to admit, when he placed the phone in position under the floorboards, it did look pretty good, especially with the darkness making the screen pop more brightly than before.

▼ Would it please the boss, though?

▼ “Hey, this looks pretty good!”

Though Yoshio’s first impressions of it were positive, when he lay down and looked through the floorboards, Go became worried that it might turn out to be underwhelming.

Peeking beneath the floorboards to see Yoshio’s reaction, he couldn’t quite tell whether he was pleased or not, as he had his poker face on.

▼ “So is it okay?” Go asked, nervously.

▼ “Okay? It’s great!!!”

Yoshio was excited for Go to see just how good it was, encouraging him to have a go at this new cinematic experience. He even took the towel off his forehead and placed it on the floor for Go’s comfort, to stop him from getting splinters.

So how was it?

▼ “It’s so much better than I thought it would be!”

In fact, Go says this “Face-Down Smartphone Hole” has a similar immersive sensation to a VR headset, but without the uncomfortable pressure around your head. Not only that — you can leave your glasses on, the ventilation is good, and the smell of the cold soil under the floor helps to create a mysterious sense of reality, so in a way it’s even better than a VR headset.

It was so good that Go is now keen to try it out with a device that has a bigger screen, like the 12.9-inch iPad Pro. It’s all part of his vision for a next-generation home theatre system, perhaps a “Floor Vision Pro“, so who knows where this idea will take him.

▼ In case you were wondering, the video they were watching was this one by our mate Butch A.K.A. Big Wave A.K.A Bob.

The only drawback to the system is the fact that your forehead might hurt after a while, but that’s easily solved if you cover the floor with a towel or something similar. Oh, and you’ll have a hole in your floorboards, which understandably, won’t be to everyone’s tastes.

However, if you’re the owner of a rundown property in the countryside that’s in the midst of renovations, this is an idea you can try before you rip up your floorboards. Otherwise, you could give it a go in a dark room with a massage table and have a massage at the same time for the ultimate in luxury relaxation.

Photos ©SoraNews24
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