The limits of bargain-hunting aren’t the only things getting stretched.
When last we left our brave reporter Masanuki Sunakoma, he had just sold his hat to a second-hand clothing store for 10 yen (US$0.08). That may sound like a terrible price for Masanuki to accept, but he’d purchased the hat for just one yen, and a 900-percent profit is something only the shrewdest and most skilled business guys can pull off.
So while Masanuki was down one wardrobe item, he was now flush with cash, and for his next feat of master-level shopping he decided to put together a whole outfit with that 10 yen.
Just like when he’d bought his one-yen hat, he started by pointing his browser to Amazon Japan, running a search for “shirt” and then sorting the results by price, starting with the cheapest, of course. That’s how he found the “Japanese-style Men’s Solid Color Linen Pocket Cotton Linen Casual Soft Light Thin Material Men’s Blouse Air Conditioning Outdoor Summer-use Bro-style Present.” The JSMSCLPCLCSLTMMBACOSUBSP is priced at nine-yen (US$0.07), representing an impressive value of just 0.375 yen per acronym letter.
9 yen is, ordinarily, a very budget-friendly price for a shirt. However, this left Masanuki with just 1 yen with which to buy pants. Luckily, Amazon’s product recommendation function was ready to help. According to the description for the JSMSCLPCLCSLTMMBACOSUBSP, an extra-large would be the best fit for Masanuki, and after he placed that order Amazon also gave him a list of recommended extra-large pants, based on what other extra-large shirt purchasers had bought. Within the list was a pair of pants for just one yen, the Cargo Pants Men’s Work-use Multifunctional Military Work Pants Exercise Big-size Ankle-length Sarouel Pants Aladdin Pants Sweatpants Long Pants, or CPMWUMMWPEBSALSPAPSLP.
So together that’s just 10 yen for the shirt and pants, making this the perfect fashion reinvestment of Masanuki’s hat-trading earnings. Once his packages arrived he quickly tore them open and inspected his new threads.
His first impression was that whoever had packed the shirt and pants had wadded them up with a borderline-violent amount of force before they made their sea voyage to Japan from China.
Wrinkly as they were, though, they didn’t have any holes, tears, or discoloring. After a wash and maybe an ironing, they should be looking just fine.
Sadly, having the shirt in his hands didn’t clear up any of the mystery about the “Air Conditioning” part of the JSMSCLPCLCSLTMMBACOSUBSP’s name. Our best guess is that it’s supposed to mean that the shirt is cool and breathes well.
Along those same lines, we’re not sure what makes the pants particularly “military.” Yeah, they’re an army-ish green, but we’re having trouble envisioning a fighting force rushing onto the battlefield in ankle pants.
Still Masanuki was relieved to see both the shirt’s and pants’ labels clearly identified them as extra-larges. That might not seem like such a high hurdle to clear, but after the specification-related shock (well, one of the many shocks) of what happened when he tried to order Amazon Japan’s lowest-rated beckoning cat statue, he no longer takes anything for granted.
After a few strong shakes to snap out some of the wrinkles, Masanuki changed into his 10-yen outfit for his modeling session.
Starting with the shirt, it’s not bad, but not great. The cut is a little blocky, but maybe that’s what they meant by “Bro-style?” The color and fabric give a breezy impression that should work with both spring and summer looks. The problem, to Masanuki, is the length. It’s awkwardly long, so he’d probably have to tuck it in, which would take away from its intended casual-cool vibe. Tucking it in, though, presents its own set of problems, since…
…the pants are insanely tight! Between the “Big-size,” “Sarouel Pants,” and “Aladdin Pants” parts of the CPMWUMMWPEBSALSPAPSLP’s name, plus his ordering the extra-large size, Masanuki had been expecting a baggy, relaxed fit. What he got instead felt more like tights or compression pants.
▼ They are, at least, ankle-length, just like the product name promised.
In fact, the pants are so tight that tucking the shirt in actually just makes it look weirder.
Still, we have to say that if you only have 10 yen with which to put together an outfit, this is probably about as good as it gets. Unfortunately, Masanuki isn’t quite satisfied enough to go through with his original plan, which was to take advantage of the super low-prices of the JSMSCLPCLCSLTMMBACOSUBSP and CPMWUMMWPEBSALSPAPSLP and buy 100 of each, so that he’d only have to do laundry four times a year, so maybe another trip to the second-hand shop’s seller’s counter is in order to see if he can once again flip his ridiculously low-priced clothes for a profit.
Related: JSMSCLPCLCSLTMMBACOSUBSP, CPMWUMMWPEBSALSPAPSLP on Amazon Japan
Photos ©SoraNews24
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