Look, we don’t come to your job and question everything that you do.
With our regular reports on Frappuccinos and beer, SoraNews24 often gets comments such as “Boy, I sure wish I could work there,” “Are you guys hiring?” and “That Master Blaster sure is sexy.”
Alright, not so much that last one, but it’s never too late to start.
But the fact of the matter is that working here is not all poo fans and sushi. There are times where it can be a downright painful experience. For example, one day a brand by the name of Super Sox asked our Japanese-language team to test out a line of socks which they claim remain odorless even after 24 hours of wear.
So, we first set out to find the person with the worst foot odor. The search itself wasn’t hard since the website’s founder Yoshio was notorious for his noxious smell. Normally, approaching your boss about his rank feet is a delicate matter, but the intensity of Yoshio’s foul stench is matched only by the kindness in his heart, so he happily agreed to participate.
Actually, he was suspiciously a little too eager to participate in this experiment.
With our test subject lined up, the rest of the experiment was quite simple. Yoshio would wear a normal sock on his right foot and a Super Sox on his left foot. The package claims to offer 24-hour protection, but we thought it’d be better to really take it to task and instead wear it for 120 hours (five days) before judging its odor fighting ability.
▼ “An experiment in which a normal sock is put on the right leg and a Super Sox was put on the left leg”
And so, Yoshio went about the next five days as any young professional would. In these times of social distancing, anyone would be wise to take the stairs instead of elevators whenever possible, especially when trying to work up a nice foot sweat.
▼ “‘Yoshio,’ the man with the smelliest feet in the editing department, wore the socks.”
A healthy body leads to an active mind, so Yoshio stays on top of his game with some jump rope in the park.
▼ He wore the socks continuously for five days.
And of course, stressful business meetings with important clients have a way of getting the sweat glands squirting.
All the while, as Yoshio worked alongside us in the office, everyone wondered what was brewing inside those loafers.
Finally, judgment day had arrived and it finally dawned on everyone why Yoshio was so extremely happy to be the volunteer in the first place. His job was finished, and it now fell on everyone else to smell his socks and judge their relative smelliness.
▼ “The editorial department members will smell.”
First he removed the ordinary sock which hadn’t been washed after five days of continuous use. One by one, each of his employees smelled the layers of congealed fluids and bacteria from Yoshio’s foot and recoiled in disgust.
▼ ‘Normal Sock: ‘GROSS!!'”
▼ ‘Normal Sock: ‘Uggggghhh!!'”
Ahiruneko, who gets especially skeeved out by bad-smelling things, brought a barf bag with him.
After regaining his composure, Ahiruneko said that he could feel the sourness of Yoshio’s feet touch the back of his throat, which then triggered his gag reflex.
▼ “Normal Socks: It’s a smell that puts people on the verge of throwing up.”
It was now firmly established that Yoshio’s foot odor was a clear and present danger, and with all of the smellers adequately calibrated it was time to bring out the Super Sox.
▼ “Super Sox”
▼ “Super Sox”
One by one everyone smelled the sock and no one puked or fainted. Moreover, most said it smelled just like an unused sock and even dug their nose right into it to be sure. Even Ahiruneko, had no trouble with it.
▼ “Super Sox”
The following video documents each writer’s reaction which is quite remarkable. Super Sox says that the reason is a patented fabric called New Breeze Fiber which is modeled after wool to provide enhanced breathability.
In the end Super Sox did what it claimed and then some. That being said, the makers will only promise 24-hour protection, so results may vary if you take them to the extremes that we did.
Still, we were so satisfied that we’ll even offer this image as a poster for the company to use for advertising purposes, or failing that, it could also be useful as a workplace harassment prevention poster.
▼ “Conclusion: 24 hours, no smell. Super Sox.”
If you too would like some Super Sox protection, they’re sold on most Japanese online retail sites for 1,100 yen (US$10) a pair. Also, if you too would like to work at SoraNews24, remember it takes a special kind of person to review both delicious beef dishes and stinky socks.
Super Sox: Website, Amazon, Rakuten, Yahoo! Shopping
Photos ©SoraNews24
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[ Read in Japanese ]