Attempting to eat seafood this fresh is a sucker bet, and this time the suckers won.

Look, we realize that SoraNews24 can’t get on too high of a horse when telling people they should eat sensibly. Previously, in pursuit of bold, new culinary experiences we’ve eaten such things as two different sweet desserts made with tuna fish, and then there was that time we taste-tested a 16-year-old can of moldy instant ramen.

Still, even we’re shocked at the lack of foresight displayed by Seaside Girl Little Seven, an aspiring video blogger from the coastal town of Lianyungang, in China’s Jiangsu Province. In keeping with her name, Seaside Girl Little Seven has been posting videos of herself enjoying various types of seafood on China’s Kuaishou video sharing app, and in one of her recent videos she decided to dine on octopus. Not just any octopus, though, but a live octopus.

However, while octopuses might not seem like the most expressive creatures, they do possess basic survival instincts. So when Seaside Girl Little Seven put one of its tentacles into her mouth, the octopus fought back, and with a painful strategy.

Rather than try to bludgeon the vlogger into submission, the octopus instead went with the strategy of using its mighty suckers to attach its tentacle to her face, so that she couldn’t bite or swallow the appendage. This turned out to be incredibly effective, as the video shows Seaside Girl Little Seven with suckers attached to her upper lip, nostril, and, most painful-looking, the skin along the outer edge of her left eye socket.

Through panicked wails, Seaside Girl Little Seven pulls and pulls at the eight-legged grappler, until she finally manages to pry it off her face. The octopus gives her something to remember their battle by, though, as it refuses to relax one of its suckers until the very end, tearing away a patch of skin from her left check and leaving a small, bloody circle behind.

“My face is disfigured,” Seaside Girl Little Seven informs viewers, while vowing “I’ll eat it in the next video,” though she doesn’t specify whether she’s planning a rematch with her living adversary, or whether she’ll have the octopus cooked before the follow-up.

So remember, kids: When eating crazy stuff for an Internet audience, you’ll want to make sure it’s entirely, or at least mostly, dead before you dig in, as well as consider maybe going for deliciousness instead of weirdness in your quest for online food fame.

Source: Business Insider Singapore via Livedoor News/Techinsight via Jin, YouTube/Aaron
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