Run for the hills! “Breakup Prevention Kits” complete with condom hole-pokers on sale in Japan

Hey, guys! So… sex! Pretty great, right? Feels good. Increases feelings of closeness and intimacy with your partner. Relieves stress. Probably lengthens your lifespan, too, unless you’re into something super kinky. Yup, intercourse is one of the few enjoyable miracles of being alive that we get to experience in this dark, lonely existence as inconsequential pinpricks amidst a vast and uncaring cosmos.

Too bad I’ll never be doing it again. Not now that I’ve learned this Japanese “Breakup Prevention Kit,” complete with discreet condom hole-poker, exists anyway.

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