しつこい

“Hey, there’s no way I’m splitting with you, babe. After all, we’re supposed to be lovers, right?”

Moving words from our own Mr. Sato there, but perhaps relationships aren’t always quite so straightforward? What if, for example, you feel that the relationship you’re trapped in has all the passion and energy of a punctured party balloon, while your partner is still penning sonnets and writing messages in fire outside your window? There’s no easy way to tell them that it’s over. Or is there? One 23-year-old Tokyoite thinks she may have stumbled upon a powerful, if slightly disgusting, method.

I’d like to start by asking all of our female readers out there, do you have a boyfriend? If so, are you head over heels in love? There are perhaps few things in life better than the beginning of a new, exciting relationship. But for many, when the initial passion fizzles out and you discover that you and your partner have little more in common than the air you breathe, attempting to call it a day can be difficult. The problem is further compounded when the other half is still very much in the honeymoon period and wants to hold on until the bitter end. What I’m talking about here is the “I want to break up but you just won’t let go” species of boyfriend.

No matter how many times you reiterate it or attempt to find a way to sever ties for good, the other half’s desire to hold on often gives rise to a painful, dragged out relationship with no path of resolve. According to our sources, an increasing number of women in Japan are finding themselves caught up in such a dilemmas, with many using terms like “effeminate”, “unmanly”, and “disagreeable” when expressing their feelings about their partner’s inability to let go.

One woman from Tokyo, however, claims to have stumbled upon a break-up method that many are deeming “the guaranteed break formula”. She elaborates below:

“I told my boyfriend that I wanted to end the relationship but he just wouldn’t accept the situation. He always came to the house and insisted we have dinner together. But there came a point where I thought ‘Enough is enough. Even I have limits.’ To cut a long story short, I ended up spitting a mouthful of saliva right in his face. Needless to say, he was completely gobsmacked at what had happened and in a blink of an eye fled from the scene. We haven’t met since this incident, so I must have made quite an impression.”

There you have it folks, if this woman’s account is anything to go by, persistent boyfriend + a load of saliva in the face = guaranteed breakup.

The situation must have been quite deplorable for a loveable 23-year-old to resort this low. Is this type of woman a one-off? Is it is plausible to believe that other like-minded women are also out there? It didn’t take long before we stumbled across another example of an extreme break-up:

“Up until a year ago, I had the serious problem of being stalked by a really obstinate boyfriend. One day, he appeared at the entrance of my apartment demanding entry. All of a sudden, he started screaming. It was all quite scary and made me realize just dangerous a person he really was. My apartment was on the second floor so I got a good view of him from above. I completely flipped and ended up dribbling a hefty load of saliva all over his head and face. Completely astonished and enraged, he stormed off home.” Ms. R (48)

When it comes to the delicate subject of relationships, the above women have clearly had it hard, but we’re not entirely sure how spitting in someone’s face would be seen in the eyes of the law.  Besides, the boyfriends in the above accounts acted rather passively as a result of the sudden spit-attacks, but there’s no guarantee that this ‘break up strategy’ won’t create a fury of revenge assault in other men. Whatever your thoughts, it’s perhaps best not to do anything too rash.
[ Read in Japanese ]