The top five places to survive the zombie apocalypse in Japan

Japan is notorious for being one of the deadliest places to live in the world when it comes to natural disasters. Typhoons rip through the country every year and the island nation’s close proximity to several continental and oceanic plates makes it a seismic hotspot. While scientists are spending countless hours researching weather patterns and new methods of predicting earthquakes, we here at RocketNews24 have noticed a dangerous lack of preparedness when it comes to a different large-scale assault on Japan: zombies.

You may be laughing now, but when most of Japan’s population, which is the 38th densest in the world, turns to putrid walking corpses hungry for human flesh, you’ll be glad we brought this problem to your attention. That’s why we asked Tarou, a 30-year-old resident of Tokyo who claims to be suffering from “zombie mania,” to share with us his picks for the top five places to survive the zombie apocalypse in Japan. Read on and guard your brains.

#5 – Asahikawa City, Hokkaido

Japan’s northernmost prefecture of Hokkaido has notoriously cold winters, but as long as you’re able to survive the several meters of snow, your zombie friends will be frozen, immobile, and unable to tear you to pieces. Hokkaido is also home to a large population of bears, so it’s possible they will pick off some of the zombies for you…unless of course they turn into zombie bears, in which case you’re screwed.

But assuming Hokkaido’s bears are unable to transmit the zombie virus and although the bitter cold will potentially keep the living dead at bay, the possibility of hypothermia, starvation, and other cold-related deaths is quite high, putting Asahikawa City, Hokkaido at number five on the list.


#4 – Tsushima City, Nagasaki

Because of the Tsushima Current, which passes through the straight between South Korea and Japan, any floating dead are likely to drift right past Tsushima Island and on to South Korea, making this 708 square kilometer island a relatively safe place to survive the zombie apocalypse…as long as the outbreak doesn’t originate on its shores.

Tsushima Island is also home to around 700 members of the Japan Self Defense Forces, making this a safe location in terms of defense.


#3 – Kabukichō, Tokyo

Yes, Kabukichō, synonymous with hostess clubs and seedy love hotels, came in at number three on our list. It’s not uncommon to see pale-faced youth and vomiting drunkards that look all too similar to a walking corpse in Tokyo’s red-light district. If Shaun of the Dead and The Walking Dead are anything to go by, patrons of Kabukichō should blend right in amongst crowds of stumbling zombies. A larger number of police officers are also stationed in the area, so in theory you’ll be safe as long as they don’t turn into zombie cops.


#2 – Namba District, Osaka

Those living in Osaka have a reputation for being much more outgoing and…shall we say “informal” compared to other big city residents, so we know Osakans won’t be crumpled in a heap waiting for the inevitable when zombies come rolling into Namba. We have no doubt even the grannies of Osaka will outfit their little bicycles with chainsaws, Mad Max style, and help to mow down the living dead, subsequently suppressing zombie panic. Because let’s face it, attitude goes a long way in a zombie apocalypse.


#1 – Kitakyushu City, Fukuoka

Home to the Kudo-kai, a yakuza group claiming over 600 members, and random residents who own Russian-made rocket launchers, you’ll be fine in Kitakyushu even if a Resident Evil-type situation played out. When high school students have been found to be in the possession of actual samurai swords, not even a Licker would stand a chance. What zombie apocalypse?

[ Read in Japanese ]