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Man or woman, sexy or frumpy, unwanted romantic advances and date requests are probably a serious hassle. We wouldn’t know because the last time someone asked us on a date was 1972, but we’re fairly certain if someone we didn’t like asked us out, we’d struggle to come up with a tactful rejection.

So, for those of you who are asked out with any kind of regularity, you can commit the following awesome rejection lines courtesy of Japanese Internet users to memory so you’ve always got a snappy response to let your jilted would-have-been stalker down easy.

The “college in another prefecture” excuse

“A guy I asked out told me he’d love to, but he was just about to ship off to college in another prefecture. I couldn’t argue with that,” said a teen girl who got rejected. Note that this excuse only works up to the age of 20 or so, because, “Sorry, but I’m auditing some adult education classes in Oklahoma” just doesn’t have the same romantic vibe.

The “I really like you, but…” excuse

There are various ways to play this, with the classic example being “I really would, but I’ve already got a girlfriend/boyfriend.” This lets the rejectee know you like them just fine, but the circumstances just aren’t right. More creative efforts include, “I really like you, but I’m so scared of ruining what we have now.”

Of course, you could go for broke with an excuse so bizarre the rejectee will be shocked to the point of forgetting all about you. “I really like you a lot, but I’m afraid I’m madly in love with my anime girl body pillow,” might work.

The “It’s not you, it’s me” excuse

One 20-something female recalled a boy telling her, “I just know I don’t have what it takes to make you happy and I think you deserve better.” Another said she got rejected by a guy who said he needed to concentrate on work so he could be successful and maybe one day be her perfect man.

The “I can’t forget the one” excuse

There’s something just so romantic about stoically waiting for the one that got away to come back into your life that this excuse is guaranteed to make the jiltee love you even more and instantly forgive your on-the-spot rejection.

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The “I don’t date (insert nationality)” excuse

Otherwise known as the blatant racism option. You could also take this same concept and run with it, identifying your dream man/woman as someone who meets some impossible-to-achieve standard you have: “I only date digital representations of real women and/or janitorial equipment,” or something to that effect.

Of course, there are other ways to reject a date request. Personally, I’m hoping to one day use the “wait until someone who has a crush on you is approaching, then quickly turn away and hug yourself so it looks like you’re passionately making out with someone” technique, but I have a feeling that wouldn’t go over as smoothly as the above excuses.

Source: Niconico News