BR 5

While common values and shared intellectual interests are crucial for a successful romantic relationship, you can’t downplay the importance of a mutually enjoyable meeting of the bodies to go along with that of the hearts and minds. But just like not everyone is born with perfect pitch or the ability to curl their tongue, some people aren’t naturals when it comes to greatness in the sack.

Recently, Japanese website Modelpress asked for Japanese women’s methods for helping their boyfriends raise their game, and today we take a look at their top five picks.

1. Have him practice with a hula hoop

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No, Modelpress isn’t suggesting you have your boyfriend cross the line and enter the world of forbidden passion by making love to a giant plastic ring (and if he’s well-enough endowed that a hula hoop is a viable sexual partner, odds are you have literally bigger problems than his sub-par technique).

Instead, he should practice swinging it about his hips in order to improve his coordination.

“My boyfriend couldn’t move his hips well, but since he started hula hooping, he’s gotten really good,” shared one satisfied participant. She was even willing to be his training partner, saying that by doing the exercises with him she’s gotten more limber too.

2. Show him kissing scenes from American and European movies

“My boyfriend was a bad kisser. Our teeth would always clash, and it spoiled the mood,” recalled a 23-year-old who works in the apparel industry. “So I had him watch the kissing scenes in foreign movies. A lot of their kisses are pecks, like birds. Any guy who copies that will become a good kisser.”

Since my wife is Japanese, I can’t claim to be an up-to-date authority on those geographic regions, but do Westerners really kiss each other like birds? I…honestly don’t remember that at all from all the 20-plus years of my life I lived in the U.S.

▼ The great American romance?

BH 2

Setting that question aside, there seem to be a couple of holes in this plan. First, kissing ability doesn’t always equate directly with sexual prowess, since those two skill sets primarily rely on different body parts. Also, when I imitate the kissing scenes from movies, do I get a symphony orchestra providing dramatic background music? What about a team of stylists to make sure my hair and clothes look good before I make my move like a parakeet?

We also have to address the issue that many guys prefer their movies heavier on fist fights than lip locks. Is there anything they’re going to feel much more resistance to than being sat down in front of a bunch of Hollywood rom-coms?

3. Show him porn made for women

Why yes, there is.

“My boyfriend’s love-making style was rough, since he’s been influenced by adult videos designed for men,” bemoaned a 28-year-old civil servant. “So I showed him ones made for women, and he became so gentle in bed.”

Ladies, if your guy is so considerate that he’ll sit down and watch your porn stash with you in order to better serve your needs, the irony is that you don’t really have to do all that. Any guy who’s that eager to please will be happy to take directions, so unless watching a few videos is putting you in the mood, you might want to skip all that and just tell him what you’d like him to do.

4. Service him

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“If a woman is passive about sex, the guy’s full technique won’t be awakened,” observed one 26-year-old pharmaceutical worker. “Lick his body and ‘other parts,’ and it’ll make him more amped up about satisfying you too.”

Some selfish guys are likely to just take this and not return the favor in any way, but assuming your boyfriend is committed to giving as good as he gets, this woman might be on to something.

5. Ply him with meat

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“My boyfriend used to fall asleep a lot during sex,” revealed a 21-year-old student. “Since he didn’t seem to have much stamina, we started going out to have yakiniku together more often, and I had him eat a lot of garlic and beef to raise his sex drive.”

It’s a commonly held belief in Japan that garlic gets guys in the mood to do the deed, but we can’t help but be more concerned about this guy’s apparent narcolepsy than his lack of libido. All the same, you’d have a hard time finding a guy who doesn’t smile with an extra serving of meat now and again, and happy couples tend to be more compatible between the sheets.

By the way, there’s no way to ignore that a full 40 percent of Modelpress’ list boils down to “steak and blow jobs,” which has raised our suspicions just a bit as to how many of the female respondents were secretly guys. Still, there’s at least a little bit of truth here, even if you have to take its advice with a grain of salt (or a clove of garlic).

Source: Modelpress via Yahoo! Japan
Top image: Lovemote
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