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So that’s what communist rap sounds like.

Most people would imagine that the Communist Party of China has its fingers in a lot of pies, all in the interest of better broadcasting its political agenda. Apparently its activities include music recording, as it’s just released an English-language rap to enlighten the world about how things really are in China.

But rap is too cool a genre to leave to Communists Mom and Communists Dad, so the song was instead produced by the Communist Party of China’s younger, hipper Communist Youth League. Titled “This Is China,” let’s take a listen and delve into its lyrical stylings.

Things get off to a pretty shaky start, as the opening lines are:

“Regardless of all the prejudice in the past
Today I wanna restore the impression you have on my country China
which have been exactly fabricated by media for a long time”

If you expected the Chinese Communist Party to come out swinging, brushing aside claims of previous injustices by accusing them of being fabrications of foreign media, you were right. It’s also hard to understand how this song is going to restore the impression that its listeners have on China, but that’s just the first in a series of grammatical hiccups in the on-screen text (given the resources of the Chinese Communist Party, and the clear fact that the video was created for English speakers, the lack of polish on the song’s English is pretty surprising).

To be fair, the beat and arrangement, while pretty plain, aren’t offensive. The lyrics even show a willingness to recognize some of the issues for which China is regularly criticized, such as pollution (which the song likens to conditions in parts of the U.S. and U.K. 60 years ago) and political corruption. It even touches on poor health standards for food and medicine…oh, but that last one wasn’t China’s fault, really, the song informs us. So who’s to blame?

“You know who.
They will get US Dollar perks
The Spy, the traitor, the liar and the money making jerks”

Also, the song is quite sure that, regardless of who you are, your impression of the relationship between Taiwan and China is probably wrong.

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“You are prolly also confused about the situation of Taiwan
as you don’t know the relationships between it and mainland
Actually, for normal citizens, we just want us to be united as one
cuz we think we are from one family, the same”

Wow, thanks for clearing that up, Communist Youth League! As a mouthpiece for the political party to which opposition was a primary reason for the very political schism you’re downplaying, I’m sure you’re qualified to speak on the sentiments and desires of the people of Taiwan.

Next up on the song’s truth checklist: Chinese police and governmental authority.

“Meanwhile we can trust the public security
cuz the policemen are kind to citizens but crucial to our enemies”

See? China’s police forces are so kind that they even support their enemies…unless that’s just another clumsily translated lyric. Well, maybe things will get clearer once the rap moves on to China’s role in international relations.

“We are now leading the developing or poor and backward countries
In technology, economy, science, and other aspects
to make a better world just like the old, old history”

Look, Chinese Communists Party, it’s nice that you’re trying to step into the role of benefactor as your country gains the sort of economic resources that allow for such outreach programs, but it’s not very nice to call countries less well-off than you “backward.” Also, it’s pretty weird to boast about how you’re progressing and developing, then say you’re going to make things like they were “in the old, old, history” for your neighbors.

But you know what? Nine times out of ten, the only part of a song’s lyric that people remember is the chorus. As long as you’ve got a good hook there, maybe this blatant attempt to curry favor will work. So, what’ve you got?

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“The red dragon ain’t no evil,” huh? Yeah, honestly, calling yourself that makes you sound pretty sinister. You know what? Maybe rap just isn’t the genre for you, Communist Party of China. Have you ever thought of idol pop instead?

Source: Sankei News via Toychan
Images: YouTube/阳光午夜