More and more Japanese moms agree: boys should wear girls’ swimsuits

We saw how monster parents can ruin the lives of rural potato farmers, but how do their demands impact the teachers closest to them?

Horribly of course, as some Tokyo area teachers have revealed, particularly when it comes to swimming class. According to an interview with Excite News Japan, school staff are growing increasingly worried with parents’ request to put their sons in one-piece swimsuits.

We don’t mean something cool like wetsuits either. These moms insist that to the best way to combat the indecent exposure of a topless boy is to put him in a girl’s swimsuit. How’s that for logic?

“When [name omitted] when into the water without a top, what will you do if someone has a hidden camera?!” This is the type of complaint that educators have heard since early May this year.

In a way we can almost sympathize with the mothers as we do live in a world that sells scent of a boy’s anus. However, it seems that the appropriate steps have been already taken as walking past any outdoor school pool would make you think you were next to a medium security penitentiary with all the fencing surrounding it.

Still, the concept of wearing girls’ swimwear is simply baffling.

“It started with one mother but has increased to about 10 in the school…The biggest complaint happened when a mother was heard screaming from the staff room that her son should wear his sister’s swimsuit during lessons. I talked to the boy and found that he hated the idea, so I let him wear his normal swimsuit. Then it became a whole dispute.”

These parents are so passionate that I’m even willing to abandon rational thought and join their ranks. During these dog days of summer, I’ve been compelled to shed my shirt and share my hairy moobs and frozen pizza-filled gut to the world. However, the lecherous stares of potential predators around me wanting to take advantage of my sexiness dismisses the notion completely.

Perhaps if I wore a one-piece swimsuit I could appear completely asexual and avoid the attention of sex offenders? But before I took that step I would need to do an analysis.

Let’s start with sumo wrestlers, Japan’s most notoriously topless males. Always showing up without shirts like some gaggle of new-age hippies.