More versatile than a snuggie or slanket, “Dame Gi” is the last thing you’ll put on…ever

Summer has already given way to fall, and those cold winter nights will soon be upon us. As economical as Japan’s method of heating individual rooms can be—usually involving air conditioning units or kerosene stoves—it does have its issues, the biggest of which being that only a couple of rooms are heated at any one time, leaving everywhere else in the house freezing cold. During winter, trips to the bathroom in a Japanese house are no fun.

But this winter brings with it a new clothing item that is going to solve all your lounging and heating issues in one fell swoop. This light-weight but incredibly warm one-piece is so comfortable, it’s like you’re wearing nothing at all.

You can check all the men in your life off your Christmas list right now, folks; just get them the Dame Gi and they’ll be as happy as can be.

If these promotional images are any indication, this ridiculous piece of lazy-wear is the best thing since the invention of the remote control for apathetic people with nowhere to go. Called “Dame Gi”, which translates as “no-good wear”, this crazy looking zip-up suit claims that it will “ruin men”, although we can’t see why it wouldn’t ruin lazier women just as well. Made of lightweight but warm material, there are plenty of special features that ensure you will never have to leave the comfort of this amazing new invention.

▼ You can shut the entire world out with the Dame Gi. Note the breathing/eating hole for not dying/convenience.

▼ Though thankfully the hood can be lowered for when you want to look at things. Your TV or a pizza delivery menu, for example.

▼ Note how the breathing hole can also be shifted to an eye hole, allowing you to watch entertainment without leaving the comfort of your hood.

▼ Additional handy features include a low front zipper and a rear poop chute!

▼ With so much room in the hood, there are various ways you can utilize the face hole.

They really seem to have thought of everything when they designed the most lethargic piece of clothing ever. Interested parties can order the Dame Gi for about 6,000 yen (US$49.89) on either Amazon or Rakuten. You can get them in medium (up to 175 centimeters/5’8″) or large sizes (up to 185 centimeters/6’0″) in that sweet vibrant navy blue color. You don’t want to be caught out in the cold without the protection of your precious Dame Gi, so make sure you order a spare for when you have to wash one after a month or so of continued use.

▼ It apparently took three iterations to figure out how to go to the bathroom in this thing.