Investigators knew something fishy was going on in Nagasaki.

The horny man in Japan is spoiled for choice when it comes to sexy entertainment. The bar districts of any major Japanese city are packed with hostess clubs, sensual massage parlors, cosplay strip shows, and all sorts of other ways to release that pent-up energy.

As a matter of fact, there are so many choices that most bar districts now also sport a number of “free guidance booths,” or muryo annaijo, as they’re called in Japanese. Set up with privacy-providing curtains or heavily frosted glass shielding the entrance, these welcome stations are happy to provide assistance in navigating the tantalizing titillation packages on offer, and free of charge to the customer.

▼ A free guidance booth in Sega video game Judge Eyes, which faithfully recreates how they look in real life.

However, there’s a cozy relationship between adult entertainment providers and organized crime syndicates, and the Nagasaki Prefectural Police recently raided a free guidance booth in Nagasaki City as part of their investigation against local yakuza clan boss Akihiro Sakaue. Sure enough, detectives found a huge stash of illegal merchandise inside, roughly 200 kilos’ (440 pounds) worth.

So what was the contraband? Illegal drugs, like crystal meth or cocaine? Stolen jewels? Sexied-up modified anime figures?

Nope. The haul from the raid was approximately 200 kilograms of processed seafood, primarily frozen fish fillets.

▼ Silver gold?

While this might seem like a disappointing turn of events, it’s actually exactly what the cops were looking for. The case being built against the 51-year-old Sakue doesn’t accuse him of masterminding a prostitution or sex trafficking ring, but of running a poaching operation, engaging in unlicensed commercial-scale fishing and selling the catch to local restaurants.

The yakuza boss was arrested on August 14, and investigators’ working theory is that in addition to storing the product in the back of the free guidance booth, Sakue’s underlings also cut up the catch there, begging the question of whether anyone who came in off the street looking for help picking a strip joint actually went to the recommended club or detected the smell of fish emanating from deeper inside and decided to seek guidance elsewhere. Meanwhile, the case is another reminder to us all that choosing a life of crime is a bad decision. Not only could you end up in jail, even if you stay one step ahead of the law you might not have the exciting, macho life shown in gangster flicks and just end up doing a lot of photoshop and late-night fishing.

Source: Mainichi Shimbun Digital via Hachima Kiko
Top image: Wikipedia/Dr. Bernd Gross
Insert images: Pakutaso
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