Good idea to hold the election before it’s too hot to think.

The days are starting to warm up here in Japan, and while that used to be a nice thing, I can’t help but be filled with a sense of dread at what’s to come. I think I’m at the bargaining stage of grief, where I’m praying for even a few weeks of bone-chilling weather just so we can make winter last a little bit longer.

It’s pretty much a given that this will be the hottest year on record, because every year has been the hottest year on record for quite a while now. To make matters worse, Japan has this really special blend of heat and humidity you don’t find in many other places, the kind where your sweat constantly clings to you and also starts to heat up, making everything feel twice as hot as it normally would.

▼ It’s really the kind of heat that makes you consider switching to 19th-century fashions.

It’s truly a horrible time of year to look forward to, but the Japan Meteorological Agency (JMA) has decided to try an have a little fun by holding a naming contest for the lethal heat to come. It’s like the ending of Ghostbusters, where we get to choose the name of the thing that kills us all.

Currently, the JMA calls days over 25 degrees Celsius (77 Fahrenheit) natsubi, meaning “summer days,” and when the temperature rises over 30 degrees (86 Fahrenheit), it becomes a manatsubi/“midsummer day.” Once we surpass 35 degrees (95 Fahrenheit), we get into moshobi/“extremely hot day” territory.

Now, the question is what to call the growing number of days where the thermometer cracks the 40-degree (104 Fahrenheit) line. The JMA currently has an online form for anyone to choose their favorite name from a field of 13 nominees.

Here is the full list of candidates. Bear in mind that these use kanji characters that can sometimes be open to interpretation and don’t necessarily have a universally correct English translation, but I’ll do my best to approximate them.

1.  enshobi (blazing hot day)
2. gekishobi (dramatically hot day)
3. gekishobi (intensely hot day) *different kanji than the one above
4. genshobi (severely hot day)
5. kokushobi (cruelly hot day)
6. gokushobi (drastically hot day)
7.  jinshobi (immensely hot day)
8. seishobi (fully hot day)
9. taishobi (big hot day)
10. nesshobi (extra hot day)
11. hanshobi (overly hot day)
12. resshobi (fiercely hot day)
13. chomoshobi (super extremely hot day)

In addition to these candidates, write-in votes are also possible. Readers of the news online have been full of ideas.

“I want ‘bonjobi‘ [“annoyingly hot day” and an obvious reference to Bon Jovi].”
“Let’s go with ‘super extremely hot day’ and when it gets over 45 degrees, we can call it ‘super extremely hot day 2.’”
“I was going to say ‘extremely hot day,’ but was shocked to learn that’s already an official designation.”
“How about just ‘hell day?’”
“I think ‘don’t go out day’ is most effective.”
“I voted honestly, but I really wanted to write in ‘death day.”’
“‘Super’ sounds cool, so I vote for ‘super extremely hot day.’”
“It’s intensely gross, so I like ‘intensely hot day.’”
“Since we can write in votes, can we agree on ‘super-hot-hot death day?’”
“‘Super extremely hot day’ has a real 90s vibe to it.”

Personally, I feel this really should go to “bonjobi” if there’s any justice in the world. It’s certainly a time that we’re all slippery when wet. But judging by the comments, “chomoshobi” is looking like an odds-on favorite in this contest. Whichever term does end up winning, it’s important to remember that we’re all huge losers when next summer rolls around.

Source: JMA, Hachima Kiko
Photos ©SoraNews24
● Want to hear about SoraNews24’s latest articles as soon as they’re published? Follow us on Facebook and Twitter!