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Sometimes, anime merchandise gets an unfairly bad rap. Anime figurines aren’t all busty or bikini-clad, for example. Some are actually quite tasteful, built more to show off the characters’ cool costumes or awesome poses than their knockout figures.

Heck, even anime-themed hug pillows, perhaps the skeeviest sector of anime paraphernalia, isn’t 100 percent submissive-looking girls with half their clothes peeled off. For example, this cube-shaped Love Live cushion isn’t even suggestive, it’s just plain weird.

The blocky gal is the handiwork of Twitter user Utsusora Kuu. Measuring 30 centimeters (11.8 inches) to a side and weighing in at 1.5 kilograms (3.3 pounds), the felt-covered cube is a freakishly disturbing testament to its creator’s affection for high school idol singer Umi Sonoda.

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If you’re picking an anime crush, you could do a lot worse than the pretty and proper Miss Sonoda, who counts kendo and calligraphy among her hobbies. But rather than one of the many images of Umi practicing the traditional arts or honing her singing talents, Utsusora instead chose to recreate the idol wearing an expression of paralyzing fear.

▼ Thankfully, and, sadly, surprisingly, the underside is just flesh-colored, and does not feature a bloody stump where the head was removed from the shoulders.

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Utsusora explained the impetus that led him to fashion this morbid interior decoration. “I really wanted to make a stuffed version of Umi….Now I can pet her as much as I want!”

▼ Ordinarily, this is where we’d shout, “Run, Umi!” but the poor girl doesn’t have legs!

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And we haven’t even come to the strangest part of all. Despite Utsusora’s obviously strong desire for Umi’s company, he apparently never noticed that her eyes are not green.

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Do this mean we should add “colorblind” to our profile of Utsusora? Maybe, but for now, we’ll stick with the two descriptors we know for sure are accurate, “obsessed” and “pretty good at arts and crafts.”

Source: Jin
Top image: Twitter
Insert images: Love Live, Twitter, Niwasoku (edited by RocketNews24)