butter TV 12

For those who have never been to Japan, the country seems like a high-tech wonderland. There are constantly reports coming out about new technologies, new robots, and new gadgets; you would think every Japanese person is some sort of tech wunderkind! We hate to shatter your dreams, but Japan is just as full of non-techy people as any other country in the world. No thread shows this better than one that recently popped up on 2channel (2ch). While the rest of the world might be trying to look at leaked photos of celebrities, one 2ch user attempted to turn their normal TV into a 3-D TV by applying…butter. Yeah, we aren’t sure how that’s supposed to work either, nevertheless, we present to you…The Buttering!

It all started with this simple innocuous throwaway headline: “If you rub butter on your TV, it’s said to turn it into a 3-D screen!” You would think that this cannot possibly be true and initially, people dismissed it as a total hoax stating things like:

“This cannot be true.”
“No way, no way.”

Yet even from the beginning, there seemed to be some skeptical but willing experimentalists: “Really? If it’s true, I’ll try it but…”

Other users immediately attempted to egg people on by posting their own recommendations for making the trick work.

“You can’t use margarine.”
“There are some stingy people who are trying it with margarine and the like, it’s not going to work. You have to use butter, although lard would work too.”
“If you don’t torch the coating of butter with flame, it’s not going to work”
“If you put sesame oil on your eyes it will go to 4-D!”

One brave, but clueless user decided to try it out for real.

“This can’t be real, but since my TV looks like it’s gonna break, I’m going to try it.”

After changing his user ID on 2ch, he started the process of turning his normal boring TV into an awesome 3-D TV!

▼”I did it, but nothing really happened”butter-tv-1

The internet being the internet and 2ch who is notorious for being a “wretched hive of scum and villainy”, started posting more advice.

“You have to spread it out more!”
“It’s too thick! Spread a thinner layer. You can’t even see the screen like that.”
“Maybe spread it out a little more thoroughly”

Understanding his folly, he posted another picture,

▼”I spread it evenly so I could get 3-D, but there is still no change! Is this the right way to do this?”butter-tv-2

The trolls were quick to respond.

“Probably only using one layer is not effective. After it dries a bit, put another layer on. I did six layers.”
“Did you use salt-free butter?”
“At my house we used cultured butter and put four layers on.”

With his choice of butter in question, he replied with a picture of the butter used.

▼“So, I used the butter shown in the picture below. Even though I did as people said and put 4-6 layers on, it still doesn’t work, so is it really possible?”butter-tv-4

2ch users seemed satisfied with the choices of butter, so they moved on to critique his butter application technique.

“Then it’s your technique, two layers should be enough for it to work.”
“If you don’t spread it on vertically, it doesn’t work.”
“I hear if you wrap your TV in cling wrap it will work better.”

This person really wanted their TV to become 3-D, so no idea would go untried!

▼”I smeared it vertically! My hands really smell like butter!”butter-tv-6

▼”Even though I wrapped my TV in cling wrap and smeared butter, it’s impossible!”butter-tv-7

This is when a new suggestion from the peanut gallery took this surreal event to a whole new level!

“Have you not covered the frame of the TV with butter? The frame is connected to the screen, obviously.”

The result was fantastic!

▼”I smeared the TV frame with butter, but still no 3-D. Do I have to do something to the butter?”butter-tv-8

The conversation switched back to the TV at this point, 2ch users were convinced it should be working, maybe it was the wrong kind of TV?

“Is that an Aquos? A Regza would work better.”
“If it’s not a CRT TV, I heard it’s impossible”

Unfortunately, at 3 AM in the morning, you can’t really go out and buy another TV to try this trick with.

“I can’t do anything about the TV, so please help me with the butter part.”

Always resourceful, users tried to figure out other reasons why it wasn’t working.

“Do you have glasses? If you don’t put butter on your glasses it doesn’t work.”
“There are 3-D glasses you know. Try doing the same thing but one part butter and one part margarine.”

At this point, it was clear that the thread had just turned into a running joke and the 3-D TV hopeful would do anything people asked.

“Even though I put butter on the glasses, the only thing that happened was my parent’s glasses became sticky.”

Because of course if the family TV is safe to coat with butter, than obviously the parent’s glasses are OK as well. What else you got? More butter? Maybe some oil or something equally as greasy?

▼”Even though I added strawberries, honey and the whites of eggs, the screen only got dirty.”butter-tv-9

That’s just wrong. What’s worse is one user wanted to know just how far he would go.

“You should taste it.”

The reply, “I did and it was gross and sticky.”

At 4:00 AM, after two hours of tried and failed butter experimentation, it was time to wrap things up.

“I’m pretty tired so I’m going to quit. Now, please tell me how to clean up this butter.” (Note: No one did.)
“Well, I have finished wiping my entire screen. There’s school tomorrow so I’m going to go to bed.”

And so ended the great 3-D butter-thon. What did we learn? Don’t try everything you see on the internet at home. Or do try it, just make sure you document it with pictures and share it with the rest of the world!

Source: Kinisoku
Images: 2ch, Flickr (Casey Bisson), Flickr (Keith Survell