And that’s even before the sticky liquid starts oozing out of it.
For many meals in Japan, a dish’s presentation is arguably as important as its flavor. Previously, we’ve enjoyed eyeballing edibles that look like anime characters, fireworks, magic spells, and beautiful flowers.
So between our appreciation of visual arts and constant carnivorous tendencies, Volcano Kitchen, a casual restaurant chain with locations in Osaka and Nogoya, sounds pretty appealing. The house specialty is a roast beef rice bowl, with the meat arranged in a volcano-like spire sitting in a pool of flavorful sauce, or “magma” as the restaurant refers to it. However, a series of snapshots shared by Japanese Twitter user @kalk_hanae are evocative of something quite different from the geological formation that makes up the first half of Volcano Kitchen’s name.
https://twitter.com/kalk_hanae/status/784982907467157504“I came to eat a roast beef bowl,” @kalk_hanae tweeted, “but for some reason my brain tells me I’m looking at something dirty.” We think we have a hunch as to what that reason might be: this fleshy, bulbous-tipped rod of meat looks like a penis.
Oh, and not just any penis, but one that’s both large and infected, as the seasonings clinging to it look like growths, boils, and inflamed blood vessels. As a matter of fact, the whole thing looks so unhealthy that when @kalk_hanae ruptures the soft-boiled egg at the tip, the disgusting shock is softened because it only makes sense that the ejaculation dribbling forth from this shaft should be brightly colored and extremely viscous.
Online reactions have included:
“Ugh…that’s so…”
“It’s really erect.”
“Unfit for broadcast TV.”
“Phimosis.”
“Way too realistic.”
Now, in Volcano Kitchen’s defense, the roast beef bowls on its official Twitter account are more artfully made.
【9月のお知らせ】
— ボルケーノキッチン (@volcano_kitchen) September 9, 2016
ボルケーノキッチン本店
社員研修のため
9月12日(月)
ランチ、ディナー
お休みをいただきます。
その日以外は
シャカリキ営業
させていただきますので
よろしくお願いします‼︎ pic.twitter.com/S3G6U0g7kK
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
— ボルケーノキッチン (@volcano_kitchen) June 11, 2016
おいしさ大噴火中‼️
旨さ爆発ボルケーノ💨
当店自慢の
『ボルケーノプレート』
マグマに見立てた半熟卵と
ご飯が入った
『新感覚ローストビーフ丼』
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 pic.twitter.com/nyqSOIR6ch
But even then, it’s now hard not to see them as having a dong-derived design. However, @kalk_hanae reports that his roast beef bowl tasted great, and it certainly looks like a filling meal. If you’re in the mood to try it, but find its appearance to be uncomfortably suggestive, we’d suggest closing your eyes as you take the meat into your mouth.
Related: Volcano Kitchen Twitter
Source: Togech

We put Japan’s most phallic-looking roast beef meal into our mouth at Volcano Kitchen
Awesome mountain of meaty goodness now at beef bowl restaurant in Tokyo’s Akihabara and Shimbashi
The Obama Bowl — Hiroshima restaurant’s newest dish salutes visit by U.S. president 【Taste test】
Mr. Sato tries to eat a cheap beef bowl, gets a massive, luxurious surprise in the process
This is what Tokyo’s craziest roast beef ramen looks like…but save room for dessert!
Studio Ghibli adds new Jiji’s baby plush toy to its anime merchandise range in Japan
Studio Ghibli releases new Kiki’s Delivery Service Jiji music box for anime fans
Over 1,400 cities in Japan see foreign population rise, total populations drop in new statistics
Starbucks Japan unveils new Kyoho grape drinks for a taste that’s quintessentially Japanese
7-Eleven Japan adds new doughnut-like tonkotsu ramen fried chicken to its hot food section
This beautiful rural Japan river is a great alternative to touristy summer retreats [Photos]
Japan’s new beer glass is designed to force you to drink…water [Video]
New Japanese vending machine at Shinkansen station sells cups of ice on platform
This awesome Japanese arcade chain has crane game coaches to help you win prizes
Studio Ghibli theme park announces new expansion saluting a previously off-limits anime
Pokémon Center Online designates first Pokémon items that will require Japanese ID card to buy
Japanese toilet aims to attract foreign tourists but not everybody is happy about it
Anime fan in Japan arrested for ordering and cancelling over 4.3 billion yen in anime merch
Starbucks Japan teams up with Traveler’s Company for new stationery and goods collection
Beautiful Totoro bonsai figure needs no watering, makes soothing rain showers whenever you want
End of a manga era as Weekly Shonen Jump’s circulation drops under one million
Kochia calling: Right now is a great off-season season to visit this beautiful Japanese park
7-Eleven Japan rethinks convenience store drinks with new Grilled Corn Chilled Soup Smoothie
Tokyo subway installing new ticket gates that don’t accept payment through Suica or other IC cards
Japan now has human refrigerators inspired by Japanese vending machines
Hatsune Miku collaborates with Hokusai’s art in new Vocaloid ukiyo-e illustration series [Pics]
New Shinkansen luggage drop-off system begins in Japan, making train travel even easier
Studio Ghibli releases anime T-shirts that pay homage to one of Hayao Miyazaki’s most personal films
Air-conditioned dress shirts arrive in Japan to save working professionals from sweltering heat
Japanese Shinkansen becomes an overnight hotel for three nights this summer
Cup Noodle unveils first-ever cold-water instant ramen in Japan
99-year-old woman rescued while attempting to climb Mt. Fuji
Japan announces sudden 400-percent increase in visa fees for foreigners entering the country
Japan’s human washing machines will go on sale to general public, demos to be held in Tokyo
Studio Ghibli has a new anime out, and there’s only one place in the world where you can see it
Starbucks Japan releases new drinkware and goods for Valentine’s Day
Starbucks Japan releases new sakura goods and drinkware for cherry blossom season 2026
Japan’s newest Shinkansen has no seats…or passengers [Video]
Japanese ninja certification exam attracts 131 candidates from Japan and abroad
Salomon releases Japan-exclusive Mt. Fuji hiking gear that doubles as an amazing souvenir
Put sesame oil in your coffee? Japanese maker says it’s the best way to start your day【Taste test】
Japan Super Budget Dining – What’s the best way to spend 1,000 yen at beef bowl chain Matsuya?
Yoshinoya’s special Japanese parliament-only wagyu beef bowl is now available to us civilians too
This is what a Yoshinoya beef bowl looks like with US$100 in extra meat topping
One Japanese man has eaten at the same beef bowl restaurant for over 1,800 days in a row
Japanese beef bowl vending machine serves up…gyudon rice burgers?!?
Throw away your New Year’s resolutions – here’s our top “volume” restaurants of 2016
Big Cock Roll wows the taste buds at Japanese restaurant in Saitama
Tokyo restaurant’s crazy huge rice omelet has 600 grams (1.3 pounds) of rice
Pro gamer has perfect comeback to Sega exec’s “He looks like he eats cheese beef bowls” insult
Japanese vending machine serves up Wagyu beef steaks in the countryside