Marriage agency Zexy thrills Japanese viewers with a makeout montage both moving and mortifying.

Marriage is a tough subject for any young couple to broach, which may be why the number of newlyweds continues to steadily decrease as years go by. At least we can count on wedding planning agency Zexy to raise our spirits and daydream about candlelit romance.

You might remember Zexy from their hilariously exploitable anime dating sim ads, where you could have your husband-to-be insult you to your face or tell you he’s already cheating on you. This latest ad reels all the gimmicks back in so we can remember what marriage is really about: kissing.

Lots of kissing.

Screenshot_3

Kissing in the rain.

Screenshot_2.png

Kissing with matching duck faces?

Screenshot_4

Alright, so the narration goes a little deeper than that. Hiroe Igeta, who plays the blushing bride, narrates the commercial with such breath-taking lines as  “I’m not sure if a future with you is what’s best for me, but I want to be with you while I find out” and “Whether we get married or not–just know that I love you with all my heart.” (Isn’t this company supposed to be encouraging people to get married? This is top-level reverse psychology.)

Even the coldest heart will be warmed by all those cozy, snuggly scenes of Igeta and her onscreen boyfriend (played by handsome actor Yoshihiko Hosoda). The 30-second ad packs in close to twenty separate kisses, which occur in an instantaneous flurry alongside their first kiss as a married couple.

You might be thinking that twenty kisses isn’t that impressive for a commercial about romance, but keep in mind that Japanese society is notoriously shy about public displays of affection. Those twenty quick cuts of Igeta and Hosoda face-battling caused quite a stir:

The new Zexy ad got my heart racing first thing this morning…”
“They just keep going in that new Zexy commercial, mwah-mwah-mwah-mwah-MWAH!”
“Zexy’s ad is REALLY pushing the envelope, kiss kiss kiss…”
“They kiss so much in it I kinda hope it doesn’t play when my parents and I are watching TV together haha”
“I don’t think any of Zexy’s ads have got my blood pumping like this latest one.”

The theme of the commercial is ‘10,000 kisses’, so this 30-second snapshot leaves out a whopping 9,980 kisses! At the rate of 20 kisses per 30 seconds, that means the hypothetical full commercial would take approximately 10 days, 10 hours to watch.

Just imagine sitting in front of a TV while your parents stare alongside you, your expressions frozen in that deer-in-the-headlights expression. Second after agonizing second. Minute after minute.

▼ “Just 6,987 kisses to go…”

TAKEBE055122456_TP_V4

Maybe none of us are ready for that kind of harrowing experience when watching TV, but here’s hoping that Zexy’s commercial inspires some cuddles amongst Japanese sweethearts – and failing that, helps to inoculate the rest of the nation from second-hand embarrassment.

Sources: Press release, YouTube/zexycm
Top image: YouTube/zexycm
Insert images: YouTube/zexycm, Pakutaso

[ Read in Japanese ]