How many licks does it take to get to the center of a jail cell?

On a warm May day last year, a 29-year-old employee was making her way through the bustling JR Shin-Yokohama Station in Kanagawa Prefecture. However, after riding up the escalator she began to notice an uncomfortable sensation on the back of her head. Reaching back with her hand to investigate, she felt a warm transparent fluid stuck to it.

Image: SoraNews24

She must have immediately recognized it as saliva because she wasted no time reporting the strange substance to nearby police. The authorities concurred and began searching for the person who put it on her.

Using security camera footage, they managed to track down 23-year-old Ryo Kikuchi of Fujisawa City, and thanks to the DNA evidence being a positive match with his saliva, the case was as good as closed.

He now faces charges of assault for “applying saliva” to the woman from behind, because police were initially unsure how exactly he did it. However, Kikuchi reportedly answered that question during his interrogation, saying: “I licked a woman’s hair.”

It is unclear what kind of penalty will be handed down to the suspect, but we can rest assured that at the very least he is going to have to explain this at every job interview for the rest of his life.

”Ah yes, my prior conviction… Funny story actually… You know how most people complain about hair in their food? Well, not me. You see…”

Image: Pakutaso

On the other hand, we really should applaud the victim for her keen appraisal of the situation. Had I been in her shoes, I probably would have just assumed I leaned against something, or a drain pipe leaked on me, or something else to that effect.

I never would have thought to make a prefectural investigation out of it, but she did. And as a result, a creepy guy will be getting his much needed comeuppance. So let that be a lesson to all you other guys and gals who are feeling an uncontrollable urge to go around licking other people’s hair – it’s just not worth it.

It’s also a shame that Tenka Torimasu fried chicken stands didn’t release their Girl’s Hair Flavor until December of last year. Perhaps the suspect’s criminal appetite for hair could have been satiated and this whole unpleasantness could have been averted.

Source: NTV News 24
Top image: Pakutaso