Everyone’s favourite giant penises will be popping out again at this year’s festival of phalluses

It’s that time of year again! Spring is in the air, the cherry blossoms are blooming, and everyone’s feeling a little bit randy. What better way to celebrate life than with the Kanamara Matsuri, better known as the Penis Festival, to be held on April 6th from 11am to 6pm.

The phallic festivities take place around Kanayama Shrine, located in a place called Wakamiyahachimanguu in Kawasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture. While it might seem like one of those zany new ‘Cool Japan’ things, this bizarre festival has actually been held since the Edo period in honor of Kanamara, the god of…blacksmithing?

Kanamara originally seems to have been a patron of the smiths, but at some point along the way moved over into sex-related work and became busy answering prayers for prosperity in business, fertility, easy childbirth, marriage, protection from venereal disease, and harmony between husband and wife. In recent times the festival has also become a popular event for AIDS-prevention awareness.

The highlight of the event is the portable shrine, or mikoshi, procession. There are three main shrines paraded around town on peoples’ shoulders as onlookers chant excitedly.

▼ First up is the Kanamara Boat Mikoshi, with its huge iron rod.

▼ Next comes the Elizabeth Mikoshi, the luridly pink and proud shaft.

▼ And last but not least is the ancient Kanamara Big Mikoshi, which doesn’t quite measure up to the others and looks like a tree trunk with an oddly shaped protrusion. But remember, it’s not how big it is…