Warning: May only be effective against flailing, incompetent actors.

How do you protect yourself from intruders in the home or the office? Well, if you’re in a country like Japan which has outlawed general possession of firearms, reaching for your shotgun and chasing out the suspect is not an option.

But never fear, for Security House is here! The company specializes in crime-prevention products for home and personal security, and one of their latest products to reach the western market has people talking.

First, the Net Launcher, which, just as the name suggests, when activated launches a durable three-by-three meter wide net (nearly 10-by-10 feet), tangling itself around the perpetrator. The net would then, ideally, slow down the attacker—perhaps causing him to flail about like a madman covered in ants and fall to the ground, as we see in the demonstration video—giving you time to escape. And if there are two of you on the job? Even better, as using two nets to completely engulf and entangle the attacker would make escape very difficult, allowing law enforcement or security officers time to react and apprehend the individual. Nice work, gang!

In theory it’s a great idea, and it even makes the office ladies in the video look pretty bad ass, but many viewers are skeptical of its reliability.

“I’d like to see an actual test, not actors waving their arms about hopelessly.”

“* Fine print: Less than satisfactory results when used against criminals wielding scissors.”

“So what should I do if the attacker DOESN’T flail around and fall over on purpose like a retard?”

“AMAZING, a bullet proof net.”

The last comment will particularly hit home if you’re from a country where the attacker is likely to have a firearm on them, in which case the net may not do much. Unless you’re this guy, who left a brilliant tongue-in-cheek review for the product on Amazon:

“First off let me start by saying that I live in a very dangerous neighborhood. The kind that once 2pm hits, you better be indoors, windows locked, lights on and alarms set. Normally that’s fine and all, but this past month I got a new kitty cat. My kitty likes to take walks and only does his business outside. Well, he needed to go for a walk one night around 7pm and I was frightened for my safety and little Kevin McCallister’s safety as well. Wouldn’t you know, as soon as I got to the end of the block, I was robbed and they stole Kevin’s Temptation kitty treats. THAT BIZ ISN’T HAPPENING TO US ANYMORE, NO WAY, NO SIR! I immediately went online and purchased this bad guy catcher. WHAT A GODSEND! As soon as it arrived I took Kevin out for a walk at 10pm just as the bad guys were lining the streets. I zapped those suckers and caught them all in my booby traps. They will never mess with me, Kevin or his delicious Temptation treats again. Thank you Japan!”

To be fair, the net launcher is advertised on Amazon for use in safely capturing geese, swans, feral dogs and cats, raccoons, squirrels, and other small wildlife and birds. No mention of stopping bumbling robbers or for use in superhero cosplay…

If you’re not quite ready for face-to-face combat and just want to protect your home at night (or catch your teenage son or daughter as they try to sneak in or out past their curfew), Security Home also offers the Net Guard and Fog Guard, which uses a motion-activated sensor to activate a projectile net in the same way as the Net Launcher, and then engulfs the intruder in a thick white fog.

What other ingenious gadgets will they come up with next? We can’t wait to find out, and see the next glorious demonstration video.

Source: YouTube/ew Trends 株式会社セキュリティハウス・センター, AOL News
Top image: YouTube/New Trends