We get our hands on a box of curry from veteran rockers X Japan and feel the burning deep within our hearts, never to look back…

Since March of this year, stores such as HMV and Lawson have been celebrating the 30th anniversary of godfathers of the visual kei scene by offering special edition X Japan merchandise. And on 12 April, Don Quixote stores joined the festivities, offering X Japan Yoshiki Legend Kirekara Curry.

At first, an X Japan themed curry might seem like they are taking a page out of the KISS manual of brand diversification, but there actually is a logical explanation for this.

Like any major rock band, there have been several legends floating around regarding the members of X Japan. Tales of lighting fires on television appearances and throwing equipment (furniture?) out of hotel windows are well known among fans. Also among these legends is the tale of how the band’s leader/drummer Yoshiki stormed out of a rehearsal because his curry was too hot.

In a nutshell, before X Japan was about to rehearse for a concert the next day Yoshiki had eaten some curry. However, that curry was said to have been so spicy that it sent the songwriter into a rage causing him to flip over a table and barge out.

Upon hearing that story, one can’t help but wonder just how spicy could that curry possibly could have been. So we went to buy a pack for 680 yen (US$6) to hopefully get a sense of that chapter in rock history.

Looking at the package, which features Yoshiki himself killing it on the drums, we were expecting a fiery red roux that would dye our white rice a deep crimson as if from the bleeding heart of a scorned lover who could never look back.

But before the legendary curry would reveal itself we had to heat it for the obligatory two minutes that all instant curry pouches must go through. When the pouch was opened Yoshiki’s curry was surprisingly not blood red, but black: a pitch ebony as dark as the windy night streets I wander through, thinking of her…

The box also comes with a packet of optional “Spicy-Up” powder which we added for the full effect.

Each member of our editorial department tried the curry starting with Seiji Nakazawa. Upon taking his first bite, Seiji hardly noticed anything wrong with the meal and thought it was actually quite good for an instant curry.

Then like a wave of burning tears that had accumulated through an unending sadness, the spiciness tore through his soul.

Seiji suddenly found himself filled with fiery passion and rage to the point that if he had eaten any more he would have begun flipping over tables and telling his coworkers to all go to hell. So, instead, he passed it off to his colleague Mr. Sato and raced for a glass of water.

Although Mr. Sato has an exceptional capacity for consumption, spiciness is not his strong suit, and so Yoshiki’s curry ripped at his heart with the intensity of destiny’s flaming talons of love.

However, when the curry was passed to RocketNews’ spice-friendly eaters Yoshio and P.K. Sanjun, it received rave reviews.

Yoshio: “The unending hunger that plagued my lonely life had blossomed into a blue rose in the desert. And the blending of spices in this roux is exceptional for an instant curry.”

P.K. Sanjun: “I finally awakened after an endless night of roaming the streets in search of you. I have finally found you and hold you in my arms, X Japan Curry. You taste like the kind of curry I’d only get at an Indian restaurant.”

Although it may result in table throwing, X Japan Yoshiki Legend Kirekara Curry will be sure to delight those strong enough to withstand the spiciness and enjoy the rich layers of flavor within it’s eternal darkness. So fans of spicy food will certainly want to head over to a participating Don Quixote and check it out.

Also, if even making instant curry is too much cooking for you to handle, the same flavor is available as X Japan Yoshiki Legend Kirekara Curry Chips for 380 yen (US$3.50)!

They’re table-tossingly delicious!

Original report by Seiji Nakazawa
Photos: RocketNews24
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