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Just sit back and let them do all the work.

Here at RocketNews24, we’re always ready to pioneer new ways to be lazy, no matter how much time and effort it takes. So far, that policy has led to innovations that let us play Pokémon GO without using our hands or our feet, but we still hadn’t been able to develop a completely limbs-free way of covering the distances necessary to hatch our Pokémon eggs.

Until now, that is.

As so often is the case with our mental breakthroughs, this one came from ace Japanese-language reporter Mr. Sato, who always thinks outside the box. After carefully considering the shortcomings of our previously produced peripherals for playing Pokémon GO, he went out to procure supplies, and came back with what he described as a pair of “clip-style massagers.”

▼ And which the package called “Nipple Twins.”

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We already knew we could trick the game into thinking we were moving through the power of vibration, so Mr. Sato quickly secured his smartphone in its holder, then clamped on the two rod-shaped devices.

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At this point, he had a Pokémon egg in his incubator that was still only 500 meters (1,640 feet) towards the required five-kilometer mark it was set to hatch at.

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The controller for Mr. Sato’s clip-on massagers allow him to select one of 10 different patterns, but for this test he decided to just go with the default setting, so he switched on the power and the experiment was underway.

Sure enough, after about 15 seconds, Mr. Sato’s avatar began wandering about the on-screen map. He let his phone shake for 10 minutes, then shut off the massagers, checked his incubator…

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…and found that he’d tricked the game into thinking he’d been walking around outside for 400 meters instead of sitting comfortably in a chair the whole time.

Now, there is one thing we should mention about this bit of gaming gamesmanship. Our test location had s spotty GPS signal, which makes it easier to dupe the game into reacting like you’re moving when you’re really not. So if you’re someplace where the GPS connection is strong and constant, you’re going to have to find another way to get out of actually walking, plus another use for your Nipple Twins.

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